'2009 Belongs To Eminem'

“Guess who? Did you miss me?”

Those are the words Eminem has chosen to introduce his new single ‘We Made You’ – and in answer to his question: “YES.”

It’s been five years since the rapper’s last studio album ‘Encore’, so when ‘We Made You’ dropped into my inbox this morning I practically fell off of my seat. Then I pressed play - and I actually did.

This is the Eminem we’ve been waiting for; the Eminem hip-hop has felt naked without.

So what’s it all about then?

Well, he might have been away for the last five years, but lyrically ‘We Made You’ picks up exactly where Eminem left off: putting celebrities to rights. In the first verse alone he brands Kim Kardashian “a man”, and asks Lindsay Lohan to “come back to seeing men” because “Samantha’s [Ronson’s] a two, you’re practically a ten”.

Elsewhere, there are well-oiled pops at Ellen Degeneres and John Mayer, and a hilarious reference to former Republican vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin, which ends with Eminem rapping: “I’ll invite Sarah Palin out to dinner, then nail her.”

He’s also clearly been paying attention to Page Six because Amy Winehouse’s ongoing troubles are a victim of his scorn as well.
“Oh Amy, rehab never looked so good, I can’t wait, I’m going back,” Eminem raps, in that same bizarre semi-reggae accent he showcased for the first last year in the leaked ‘I’m Having A Relapse’.

Importantly, this is a fresh sounding rap song as well. According to Eminem’s introduction, the chorus is sung by Jessica Simpson, while the Dr Dre-produced beats and piano hook are as razor-sharp as the rapper’s visceral lyrics. Put them togeher and it's like Eminem's the ringmaster at a circus full of celebrity clowns.

Worryingly for the song’s disparaged celebrities and musicians, I was sent both the ‘Clean’ and the ‘Super Clean’ versions, so I hesitate to think what the ‘Explicit’ album version will bring in June. But that’s beside the point. ‘We Made You’ embodies that old adage that you don’t know what you’re missing until it’s gone.

The likes of Asher Roth and Kid Cudi might as well give up the battle to make 2009 their year because Eminem’s just shown us why, even at the age of 36, it’s already his.