Photo: Press

Ahead of his UK tour, Dillon Francis tells Gigwise about painful tattoos, moombahton disasters and a true festival nightmare.

For any fan of LA DJ Dillon Francis, his merchandise store offers a plethora of delights. Alongside the conventional special editions and t-shirt bundles of his excellent new album Money Sucks, Friends Rule there are a series of outlandish auction prizes on offer under the category 'Awesome Shit'. These include the chance for you to bid on anything from Francis covering a Katy Perry track dressed as a pirate ($8,000), recording a shot-by-shot remake of Jerry Maguire ($15,000) or even joining the army ($20,000,000).

Speaking to the man himself there was an offer that was even more extreme. "The one that I was worried about didn’t actually end up going on to the website," explains Francis down the phone line. "I wanted to put that I would get fake tits for a million dollars. But my manager was like ‘Dude if you get fake tits, supposedly getting fake tits removed is a very very hard procedure that could end very badly.' I thought it would have been really funny."

It's a typically outlandish tale from a DJ capable of both making some of the biggest EDM anthems while never for an instant taking himself seriously. Having already been in the studio with Diplo, headlined Supersonic festival in Goa and collaborated with everyone from A-Trak to Panic at the Disco's Brendon Urie, he looks set to have a truly spectacular 2015. 

Describe your earliest DJ sets playing at Coco De Ville lounge in LA.
No. One. Cared. Coco De Ville was definitely packed but it was a top 40 nightclub and I was playing Cut Copy, Preset Records, Fred Falke remixes - all that disco-y type stuff. People weren’t not into it, but luckily I was playing aggressive enough stuff to not get kicked off. The manager came up at the end and said "That was totally awesome, we’re definitely going to book you soon again.” And never ever booked me again.

Is there one question you’re bored of answering already?
The main one that I got asked today was "How do you like playing over in the UK? What’s the difference between the crowd here and in the crowd in America?" Have I got a more imaginative answer for it? Yeah - I just say "Fuck you. Are you fucking serious? What kind of shit is this?"

Your track ‘Not Butter’ is mental - can you tell me a bit more about it?
It’s one of my favourite songs on the album. I was in the studio working on the album at the beginning stages and I remember making this drop for the song 'Hurricane'. I remember sending it to my manager who said “I don’t think this works for that song I think the lyrics are too happy and this drop is too dark."

It’s such a weird techno song so I thought ‘What’s the weirdest thing you could say in a techno song that you can talk about?” I may have just seen a ‘I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter’ commercial and I kept having it in my head. Then I thought "Oh my God: why don’t I have a computer saying ‘I can’t believe it’s not butter' and then what you could put it on?”

Are you looking forward to Unilever calling up using it in an ad campaign?
I’m excited for that. Particularly when they say ‘We’re not going to pay you because you used our name in a song without asking us."

Your ‘DJ Rich as Fuck" parodies are very funny. Are there any other things DJs shouldn't do on social media?
Dude, if they start doing it, I will make fun of it. if you have a list, I will fucking go in. Cause I love doing that stuff. Recently I did this with Instagram girls who post a picture of their butt. [Adopts valley girl tone] “Oh my god so exciting for Halloween - what are you going to be?” It’s a picture of your butt. It has nothing to do with Halloween. [laughs]

During your huge amounts of travelling, what keeps you sane?
Melatonin is the lifesaver for anyone who gets jet lag. It’s that or this stuff called Kavinace: it’s like Melatonin but doesn’t leave you as groggy. Seriously the key to life as a DJ is having Melatonin with you.

What is the strangest thing you’ve seen on the dancefloor?
There was a dude who had his pants down at Tomorrowworld. There was a picture of it online as he was in the crowd. I don’t know what he was thinking - I think he was just looking for his Dad: he decided to take his pants off, just stand there and not really go anything. It’s like a toddler’s approach totally! “Dad won’t punish me if I’m half naked.”



Do you have a good festival tip?
Drink a lot of water. And keep your shoes on: don’t let the grass fool you. You’ll lose your shoes and then you’re shoeless and that will suck. You’re fine on site but when you have to go to a party that night people will say ‘Well, you’re the fucking hippy that decided to throw your shoes away...."

As someone who once worked at J Lindeberg, what’s your key style tip?
For me now it’s Topman. I transferred over to them a two years ago. Diplo told me about them and when I went to the UK for the first time (Topman just came into the US a year ago). I remember getting suits here and off the rack the suits fit perfectly - I am very skinny though with chicken legs. They’re not expensive and shirts, t-shirts, jackets are amazing. Everything there is A-Plus!

What advice on getting a tattoo?
Don’t ever get a tattoo on your elbow. It sucks. I recently got this one that goes from the inside of my arm all the way down my forearm - and the elbow is so spicy. It’s the only way I can describe it. It feels like someone has got a needle with Siracha sauce and tabasco and all this horrible stuff inside. It’s godawful. The best tattoo that you could get? A unicorn getting fucked by a rainbow. Because it’s the best.

Describe your biggest DJ fail?
It was when I was in Vegas, I started playing moombahton. It cleared the dancefloor like that. 110 BPM does not work in Vegas. Definitely don’t do that.

Was it the sound of a million people ordering bottle service at the same time?
That instantly happened. And people saying “Maybe we should go to another club now and order bottle service there - this is bad.” It was my first time playing there so I assumed that I had fans coming. There were some fans there of course - but not as much as I thought there was going to be. With Vegas you never have the same crowd because it’s not the people that live there but the people who are visiting there. And they are going to go because they made have heard your name in passing they don’t even know your music. So 110BPM just doesn’t work for Top 40 nightclubs.  

What’s the last guitar band you loved?
Tokyo Police Club - I don’t think they’ve ever had a breakthrough song but ‘Tessellate’ was the one for me. I’ve also been obsessed with the Black Lips forever. I named a band after them. Me and my friend Dillon had a band called ‘The Bad Kids’ which was named after their song. I tried to see them at Coachella but I tblacked out and got lost in the parking lot. It was awful: it was my first time drinking in six months and it was a bad experience. My friends were like ‘Dude you have a VIP pass you can get back into the festival' but I was so wasted I was like ‘No you don’t understand I can’t do it! I can’t’. I just sat out there while they played. It was awful.

Which band do you wish would get back together?
I wish the Smiths would do a reunion tour if that was even possible. I love ‘William It Was Really Nothing’ and ‘Girlfriend In A Coma’. Morrissey plays some Smiths songs live but I want to see a full on Smiths concert - then I’d be happy. It would totally break the internet.

What's the best live act you've seen recently?
Porter Robinson. I saw his show and thought it was incredible. He was playing all these original edits that he’d made of songs he’d for his album, all specific for the live show that no one had heard before. I thought that was really cool: it was all his personal work and, if you are a fan of his album you were going be a big superfan of his show. He’s a good friend of mine and it’s really cool to just fan out on one of my friends: ‘Dude that was one of the coolest things I’ve ever seen’.

Both you and Diplo have an affinity with cats. What advice would you give on cat ownership?
Don’t own one if possible. If you’re a DJ, you’re never going to see your cat and you end up giving your parents. Thank God my parents like to take my cat in but it is hard to be able to have a pet and be a touring artist.

Is there any sign that the cat is at all bothered when you return?
My cat hates me. My cat’s a dick. Good riddance to that piece of shit!

Dillon Francis album Money Sucks, Friends Rule is out now (Columbia). Francis UK tour includes dates in Brighton (4 Feb), London (5 Feb) and Manchester (6 Feb).