This might be the worst single of 2012
Michael Baggs
11:56 20th November 2012
  • 20. N-Dubz – Some of our American readers may never have heard of N-Dubz. Lucky them. The hip-pop trio concoct the type of music that's so terrible, banging you head repetitively against a radiator would be a more pleasurable experience. However, what really hacks us off is the pint-sized hooligan Dappy. Despite the group being the faces of an anti-bullying charity, Dappy sent death threats to a radio listener who had the audacity to (rightfully) call him an idiot. The sooner we see the back of N-Dubz, the better.

  • 19. Ke$ha – As soon as Lady Gaga made it big time, it was only a matter of time before a pale imitation appeared on the pop tundra. It came in the shape of Ke$ha who not only mimicked Gaga's electro-pop style but spouted cringe-worthy comments in a bid to desperately secure column inches. Fingers crossed Ke$ha is only a passing fad.

  • 18. Britney Spears – Don't get us wrong the people behind Britney have crafted some great songs over the years. Her videos are often pretty good too, considering the context. But the harsh reality is Britney couldn't sing live with a gun to her head. Once proclaimed as the new pop queen, thanks to her countless TV appearances and live tours she is now merely the queen of mime. Her management, of course, claim her performances are all about the “spectacle” rather than the singing. Yeah, right.

  • 17. Lindsay Lohan – If anyone needs to stick to the day job of being a greasy haired drunk and part-time actor, then it's Lindsay Lohan. Despite a modicum of chart success, her pop career was a complete disaster. After the relative success of her hideous debut speak, Lohan flopped with her second steaming dog turd 'A Little More Personal (Raw)'.

  • 16. Billy Ray Cyrus – The country singer warrants his place on this list (alongside his delightful daughter Miley) thanks to one track alone – the aural genocide that is 'Achy Break Heart'. Easily the worst song ever committed to plastic, the track is about as low, annoying and tacky as music can possibly get. In fact, the only people who like the track are OAPs at line-dancing clubs – yes, the type of octogenarian people who also like Cliff Richard.

  • 15. Jedward – For some unfathomable reason, millions of people became infatuated with these irksome Irish twins when they appeared on The X Factor in 2009. Proof, if ever it was needed, that the general public are idiots. Despite the fact they can't sing and bound around stage like a hyperactive 11-year-old after too many e-numbers. John and Edward Grimes count the likes of Prime Minister David Cameron (urgh), Britney Spears (urgh), Westlife (urgh) and Peaches Geldof (LORD, GIVE US STRENGTH) amongst their admirers. Says it all really.

  • 14. Miley Cyrus - She may only still be 17-years-old, but the pop star has certainly ruffled a few feathers in her short time on this planet. When Gigwise asked a reputable pop journalist to describe the singer, the reply was "Obnoxious, precocious and she sounds like a 40-year-old who has smoked 60 cigarettes a day for life". Nicely put. And don't get us started on that Selena Gomez Youtube video. With a Lady Gaga-esque third album coming up next month, unfortunately there's no sign the Miley Cyrus pop crap juggernaut is going to slow down just yet.

  • 13. Jessica Simpson – She may be hanging with Billy Corgan in a vain hope of gaining some artistic credibility, however, any chance of that is overshadowed by her shocking musical career. Generic to the point of nausea, her shallow ballads and phoney vocals are nothing short of a travesty. Arguably the lowest point of her already low career came in the shape of 2008's 'Do You Know' in which she embraced country music like a duck to an oil slick. She even tarnished the reputation of Willie Nelson by appearing in a music video with him.

  • 12. Justin Bieber – He may be an easy target, but phenomenal popularity aside, judging by the 16-year-old's musical output alone he deserves a place on our countdown. From the pop-R&B quagmire of his debut single 'One Time' to the slightly creepy 'Baby', Bieber's music is all ultra-glossed, over-produced fodder that's custom built by studio geniuses to infiltrate the charts. Scratch beneath the surface and there's nothing there but millions of screaming teenagers.

  • 11. Jemini – In 2003 Scouse pop duo Jemini were the UK's worst ever entry at the Eurovision Song Contest clocking up nul points! They should have introduced minus votes especially for them. On paper they were a watered down, mock Steps, but as soon as they stepped out onto the Latvian stage things got a lot uglier. They were so out of key, a wailing fox would have sung it better. Singer Gemma Abbey now works in a health spa in Liverpool.

  • 10. Geri Halliwell - She was bad enough as part of The Spice Girls, but embarking on a solo career in 1999 the ginger one's musical kudos plunged to new almost unparalleled depths. Typically egocentric debut single, the abysmal 'Look At Me', set the stomach-wrenching tone and she went on to achieve UK number one success with the dire 'Mi Chico Latino' – complete with grammatically incorrect Spanish lyrics, naturally. However, she warrants her lofty place on this list for her cover of The Weather Girls' 'It's Raining Men' – a song that's pretty much as god-awful as music can possibly get. Humanely, Halliwell's career has now fizzled out.

  • 9. Westlife – Arguably the wimpiest, blandest and most nauseating boyband to ever soil our humble planet. For well over decade, the Irish group have been churning out soppy ballad after soppy ballad with X Factor gimp Louis Walsh at the helm. Their live shows are somewhat of a spectacle too. They involve the foursome sitting down on stool, then standing up, then sitting down on the said stool again. Riveting stuff eh?!

  • 8. Victoria Beckham – When Bob and Chris Herbert were casting for The Spice Girls back in 1994, you'd have thought they'd look for one crucial thing – girls who can actually sing. Clearly it wasn't the case with Posh Spice. With the girl group she spent a career sauntering in the background, but it's when she launched a solo career that Victoria's real lack of talent was painfully exposed. From the garage nightmare of the Dane Bowers collaboration 'Out Of Your Mind' to the frankly disgusting 'Not Such An Innocent Girl', easily the best thing about Victoria's solo career was she only released one (pathetic) album.

  • 7. Jordan – Famous for her over-inflated breasts and shagging stutterer Gareth Gates, having already dabbled in politics and television work, Katie Price decided to dip her fake-tanned toe into the world of music in 2005 with her entry into the Eurovision Song Contest (heats). Heavily pregnant, she appeared on national TV wearing a skin-tight pink latex outfit and proceeded to murder a track called 'Not Just Anybody'. Awful. Rightfully dumped out of the competition, Price didn't learn her lesson and recorded an album of duets with her then husband Peter Andre, 'A Whole New World'. The album, essentially an aural torture instrument, was ranked as the worst album of the 2000s by Gigwise.

  • 6. The Fast Food Rockers – The novelty pop act, obsessed with all kinds of nasty food high in saturated fat (great example to set to kids huh?!), lasted a little more than a year in the music business. Ha! Their breakthrough single 'The Fast Food Song', complete with the insightful lyrics “McDonald's, Kentucky Fried Chicken and a Pizza Hut”, astoundingly reached number two in the UK singles chart but mercifully their subsequent album 'It's Never Easy Being Cheesy' atomic bombed. Somewhat ironically, all three members of the group are probably serving Big Macs as you read this. Good riddance.

Lil Wayne is one of music's most prolific collaborators and has teamed up with Paris Hilton for a new duet entitled simply, 'I Wanna Bang You'. Listen to the track below.

The heavily-autotuned track is set to appear on Hilton's not-at-all awaited second album and makes EDM attempts from the likes of Jennifer Lopez and Madonna seem like modern classics.

The song is about sex, with Lil Wayne boasting of enjoying a 'foursome' with Hilton while she sings about how much she enjoyed the experience.

There are no two ways about it - this song is terrible.

Other rumoured collaborators on Hilton's second album include LMFAO and Flo Rida, who will no doubt maintain the lofty standards set by 'I Wanna Bang You'. She previously premiered another new track in June of this year during a DJ set at Brazil’s Sao Paulo Pop Music festival.

Listen to 'I Wanna Bang You' below.

Paris Hilton enjoyed fleeting pop success in 2006 with her debut album Paris,  which spawned the UK Top Ten single, 'Stars Are Blind'. Since then, the star has struggled to reclaim the glory of her debut release, most recently releasing a politically themed single in 2008 entitled 'Paris For President'.

 Below: the worst pop acts of all time


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