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What a Primavera it looked like it would be; Blur, Frank Ocean, Daft Punk, the list went on. What news to start the new year! A lineup too good to be true, surely? Of course it was. Of course it was a fake.
Today has seen a similarly too-good-to-be-true Coachella lineup arrive online. One that not only includes Daft Punk, Blur and The Yeah Yeah Yeahs, but also has David Bowie, Sigur Ros and Wu-Tang Clan all appearing on the final day.
Far be it from us to stymie people's fantasizing. A good portion every summer is sat explaining to no one in particular where festival bookers have gone wrong and who they should've booked.
But these fake 'leaked' lineups are as pointless as those beer garden rants, and ultimately more damaging. There are several festivals that are likely to have pretty stonking lineups in 2013, but after the initial excitement of the fake Primavera lineup, or today's Coachella one, no matter what the organisers put together we're going to be a little disappointed. "This lineup's great," we'll concede to each other, "but imagine if that Facebook post had been real!..."
The fake Coachella lineup posted today
Festival rumours are great, they're all part of the fun of it, especially with events like Glastonbury where you shell out hundreds of pounds without even having a hint of the lineup. Oh, the anticipation!
But when we've got people knocking up fake posters, and the rapidness with which they can be spread worldwide through social networking sites, it all becomes a bit pointless. It takes the fun out of it and we take them too seriously. Inevitably we're disappointed.
It's almost like telling a child they're getting an X-Box for Christmas just so they'll be REALLY surprised when they get the children's atlas you've bought them. Except that's not surprise at all. They're pissed off and confused about where their X-Box is...
The other thing about these fake leaks is that they all seem to pile the biggest name possible onto one lineup. Blur, Daft Punk, The Knife, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Wu-Tang Clan, The Prodigy, all in one place. Why not stick Bob Marley and The Beatles on there as well? There's about as much chance.
What happened to festivals having their own personality and characteristics? What happened to going to three festivals in a summer and never seeing the same act?
If we're going to fantasize, why not do it on a multi- festival scale? The Rolling Stones and Radiohead at Glastonbury (which actually might happen) David Bowie and the Yeah Yeah Yeahs to show up at Coachella, Blur and Daft Punk to headline Primavera. What a summer that would be!
The Primavera lineup that was too good to be true
Frankly, the phony lineups for Primavera and Coachella look exhausting, and would probably be defined by countless images of music fans tearing their hair out while trying to work out how to get from the end of Sigur Ros' set to Wu-Tang Clan, before legging it to David Bowie.
Let's leave festival speculation where it should be, as conversations that none of us ever believe will be realised. At least that way we can still be excited when the actual lineup is revealed, instead of grumbling that it's 'good, but not as good as it could've been'. And let's stop believing everything we see on Facebook or Twitter. If a lineup looks to good to be true, it probably is.
