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"Oh, sorry what? It's Glastonbury this weekend? Why didn't someone say so? I love having my Facebook and Twitter feeds acting as a reminder of how much better your weekend is going to be than mine!"
It's that time of year again, where your friends fortunate enough to bag Glasto tickets will be rubbing your noses right in it. But if you want to spit in the face of envy and still want to have an awesome weekend, then there are alternatives.
Here are 10 ways to fill your time this weekend if you aren't lucky enough to be going to Glastonbury Fesitval 2013:
1. Depress yourself by watching all that you're missing with the 'red button' TV coverage
2. Be 'that guy' who has a festival themed party by erecting a tent indoors
3. Go to another gig. There are loads on, like Hard Rock Calling with this guy...
4. Spend the weekend listening to heavy metal. How very un-Glastonbury
5. Stock up on camping gear in the post-Glasto sales
6. Play 'spot the Z-lister' in the Glasto media coverage
7. Bathe in the comfort of the knowledge that you're cleaner than all of your friends
8. Go on holiday and snapchat your friends in their cess-pit misery
9. Create a 'swear jar' and ask your friends to drop in a pound any time they say the word 'Glasto'
10. Make the most of refridgerated beverages
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