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It's winter. It's cold. Can you even remember what warm grass feels like? Us neither. Festival season seems a lifetime away, whether the epic 2013 run of events of what's coming up in 2014.
We miss festival season. A lot. It's the best time of the year, mixing time away from our desks with the opportunity to see some of the biggest and best bands on the planet - all while existing in an alcohol-fuelled haze.
So, as we're feeling nostalgic (and above all, cold) we've listed what we miss most about festival season. And it's not all about the bands...
1. Tent time
There's a million cool things to do at a festival, but one of the best? Just chilling outside your tents with mates. It's mid-afternoon. The sun's hot. A few people are asleep. Some are on the beer. The sounds of the festival are drifting across the campsite. It's just a break from the festival activities, but those glorious moments of calm in the middle of manic weekends are a joy all of their own.
2. The excitement on the train or coach on your way there
Your bag straps hurt and you definitely packed too much, but the journey to a festival is the summer equivalent of Christmas Eve, as you speed your way into the British countryside with no clue what the weekend will bring. A good place to have your first drink, discuss costume choices with friends and panic over which pocket you put your tickets in, knowing full well that pretty much every stranger travelling with you is heading to the same place you are.
3. That first lap of the festival ground
The tent's up and you've hastily arranged your sleeping area for the next few days - so what's next? That's right, your first beer from a bar and a first lap around the festival. The stages, the arty bits, the food, the bars - a slow amble with no real intentions and no destination in mind to frequent yourself with your new surroundings and weekend playground.
4. When, on the morning after, everything starts to feel OK again...
It's Saturday morning and you hit it too hard on Friday. Way too hard. Your head hurts. Your legs hurt. Your EVERYTHING hurts. And then you discover that magical remedy that will sort everything out - a burger, something more exotic or even just more alcohol - and everything falls back into place. You thought you'd never make it through the day, but now you're more ready than ever.
5. Finding that perfect Sunday DJ
You've spent two days already throwing yourself around in tents and brushing your teeth in front of strangers. You really don't know whether you want to drink alcohol again and the last thing you want is whatever the hell is going on in that freakishly noisy tent. Then, you discover that one tent playing the perfect chill out music. In the shade, half asleep and lying on the floor. Do you really have to move?
6. The first night 'I love you' chats with your mates after several too many
It's never spoken of the next day, but when the lights have gone down and everything looks beautiful, we all tell our friends how much we appreciate their ongoing companionship in life - mostly by yelling stuff in their ears while they're trying to dance.
7. New best mates
There's no place in the world better to make a new best friend. Like, literally THE best person you have EVER met. Dance, drink, hug, make plans to definitely keep in touch after the festival is finished - and then never think of them again the morning after. Festivals are the only places to do this. Try the same on the London Underground. The results will be hugely different.
8. Alcohol before 10am
If you have beer with breakfast in real life, you have a problem. Some mornings at festivals, it's the only real option. This applies to all alcohol, and you may even find that a bottle of sherry, warmed by a sweaty tent, has it's own breakfast charms (trust us on this one).
9. Every moment being a memorable photo opportunity
Selfies. A million selfies. Perhaps it's the beer that means you are no longer feel any shame turning the camera on yourself to get a photo of yourself, a mate and Arctic Monkeys in the background (the size of fruit pips). You may also try and take countless shots of that dazzling headline set, which on a small screen looks less like a spectacle and more like a couple of lazers and a few puffs of smoke.
10. EAT. SLEEP. RAVE. REPEAT
One big night out a weekend is enough for most people, most of the time. How do we find the stamina to do it two, or three times in a row? What is it about sleeping in a tent that makes it totally possible to party (and keep on partying) for three or more days solid? And then the cigarettes. Non-smokers suddenly start chaining them and the only time you're not inhaling is when you're taking another sip of beer or indeed ordering the next. It's amazing though.
11. Dressing like a mad hippy without being judged
Tie-die parachute pants? I can't totally pull these off. Straw hat? Body paints? No big deal. Next time you're hurling yourself around a tent to a set from Annie Mac or Major Lazer, take a moment to wonder if the man dancing next to you, wearing just his pants, wellies and covered in green, works in finance in his day to day life. He probably does.
12. Making best friends with someone in the queue for the toilets
This is one for girls, mostly. Blokes are fortunate at festivals, and chatting at the urinals is not the done thing. But if you're a female trapped in that hellish, snaking loop waiting to relief yourself, the sense of community, of banding together for the greater good is unmatched. Often in uncomfortable, cross-armed silence, but it's community nonetheless.
Festivals - WE MISS YOU.