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Never have we been so intrigued or confused as something by Lana Del Rey's short film Tropico. The enigmatic star has kept mainly schtum on the clip, which features tracks from Born To Die: The Paradise Edition over the past few months, but now it's here in all its glory.
We got comfy and watched the whole thing and picked out the best bits. WARNING: Includes bottoms, strippers, guns and unicorns. Check them all out below.
1. The first time we see LDR
There's a cowboy chanting some biblical babble at us and then goddess LDR appears, looking like the Virgin Mary. Marilyn Monroe and Elvis are there as well, but frankly who gives a toss when Del Rey's nails look this good. *Insert something insightful about religious iconography here.*
2. The unicorn in the 'Body Electric' segment
It's our favourite track from Born To Die: The Paradise Edition, y'see. LDR and her boyfriend are dressed as sexy versions of Adam & Eve, "dancing and grinding" like no-one's watching. Except someone is watching, and it's a unicorn. Amazing.
3. "Honey, can we shut at 5 today please?"
Blimey, it's all change. Suddenly Del Rey and her beau work in a depressing hardware shop. We miss the unicorn. And the lambs. She's not arsed though, she's eating an ice cream.
4. The bum slap
As seen in Lily Allen's video for 'Hard out Here', is this going to be the new music video trend for 2014? Exciting.
5. This tattoo
In the 'Gods + Monsters' segment of Tropico, Lana's rocking a cholita look and being generally bad-ass on the hood of a car. She's also rocking this stomach tattoo which we think says "Just A Bitch". We want one.
6. The scene in which we learn LDR's boyfriend is Not A Good Egg
Some rich men are minding their own business recieving raunchy lap dancers from strippers when LDR's boyfriend and his gang bust in with guns and ruin everyone's fun. DRAMZ. This is the only part of Tropico which is actually like a film, to be honest.
7. The wonderful cinematography
You may not be able to see it from these exceedingly high quality screengrabs, but in all seriousness there are some beautiful shots in Tropico.
8. ADIEU, material possessions!
Phew, everything's nice again now. LDR and her naughty boyf are driving through an idyllic meadow setting whilst she chucks out her material possessions, such as bundles of money and pearls. Hold up girl, we'll take them off your hands.
9. 'Bel Air'
This track is undeniably stunning, and the segment accompanying the track follows suit, all lens flare and sun bursts and Del Rey looking all beautiful. Damn her.
10. Let's dance
DON'T LAUGH but LDR and her boyfriend float up into the air, spinning around gracefully. It's a beautiful moment. Don't laugh.
THE END. Well done everyone.
Watch Lana Del Rey's Tropico in full below
