Thursday 3rd April 2014 by Gaby Whitehill

There's 3 months to go and the Glastonbury lineup still remains, largely, a mystery. The only headliner confirmed is Arcade Fire, leaving two more prestigious slots to fill. One of them, however, apparently belongs to Longy.

Nope, you haven't unknowingly slipped into a coma for the past few months and missed out on the stratospheric rise of an oddly-named band or artist - nobody knows who Longy are, or is.

The mystery began on April 1 (April Fools Day - FYI) when Glastonbury sent out a press release confirming Longy, "an unknown act from Essex", would be closing the festival on June 29 after entering the festival's emerging talent competition.

Links to the enigmatic Longy's website, his Instagram, and YouTube videos (none of which showed his face) were all included in the email, as well as a link to pre-order Longy's EP, titled Bringing It All Home To You Now. None of these links really told us much, apart from the fact Longy possibly needs to hire a new website designer.

What we did discover, however, was that judging by Longy's YouTube activity, he's/they've been around for 6 months (and commented on a video of Zane Lowe's infamous interview with Kanye West). His/their Instagram shows posts dating from July 2012.

A teaser for new track 'Love Schizophrenia' does sound familiar - in fact, it sounds rather a lot like previously rumoured Glastonbury headliners Kasabian, a theory supported by FACT Magazine.

The mystery deepened further when another Longy email popped into our inboxes. Titled #WHOISLONGY, it read:

LONGY is not what you think
LONGY is not Empire
LONGY is everywhere
LONGY is still at large

...which sounds like a load of pretentious waffle upon first glance, but it gives another Kasabian clue (Empire is the title of their second album). We also can't help but think this Longy is a bit bloody arrogant as well.

A mobile number was also included, urging readers to text and "LONGY will tell you everything". At time of writing, "LONGY" is apparently too busy to reply to us.

Let's be honest, whatever the outcome of this - whether yes, it is Kasabian's way of announcing a headline slot at Glastonbury under a rather tiresome guise, or it's an ambitious, irritating PR campaign in support of a new band - we're going to be disappointed. Unless Longy turns out to be David Bowie.

All will, we assume, be revealed on April 29, when a launch party for Longy's new single will take place at London's Hoxton Square Bar and Kitchen. 

Below: all the bands rumoured to play at Glastonbury 2014