Strap in, is all we’re saying
Andy Hill
13:45 29th May 2018

Underworld and Iggy Pop have collaborated on track that’s over seven-minutes long and mostly talks about smoking on aeroplanes – with a dash of cocaine and ‘picking up’ stewardesses on the side.

Called ‘Bells & Circles’ it’s a proper, certified banger, marrying a racy trance beat with Iggy’s magnificently distinctive spoken-word drawl.

“If I had wings / I wouldn’t do anything beautiful or transcendent.” begin the lyrics, which are all totally amazing and well worth your time.

“I remember smoking on the airplane / I used to love to smoke on the airplane / These were the golden days of air travel”

See what I mean?

“They would just open the door at the airport / You’d walk right out on the tarmac / Up the stairs, light a big cigarette / Stick it in the ashtray”

Anyway, after that it does get maybe a teensy bit what the girls at my university would call ‘problematic’.

“And then the stewardess came along / If she was hot you could try to pick her up!”

He goes on, doubling down if anything:

“Once I was flying New York to DC / I didn’t have much time / The stewardess was smoking / She was a dusky, tall American beauty”

“And I put down my tray table / Started a gram of cocaine / Until I got up my courage to say / 'Can I have your phone number?'”

You’re gripped, aren’t you?

“And she gave me the number / That was the good news / The bad news was I got too stoned / And I lost the number.”

Crikey.

“The stewardess would’ve been better than the cocaine."

So at least romance isn’t dead.

The track was recorded in London recently by Underworld and Iggy Pop ‘…during an afternoon tea encounter’ – which is almost certainly a euphemism.

Anyway, after sharing his failing-to-bang-an-air-hostess anecdote, we get a fun aviation history lesson.

“Teenage boys used to hijack the airplane / Send it to Cuba / Castro would charge twenty grand to the airline / To get their airplane back”

“He had a good business / It’s over, you can’t do that.”

Fucking awesome.

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Photo: Shutterstock