Coachella: Outkast, Muse and Arcade Fire are headlining. That really is just the tip of the iceberg though. There's also Lana Del Rey, Lorde, QOTSA, Disclosure, Motorhead, MGMT... *cue fade out*

The Governors Ball: Outkast, Jack White, Vampire Weekend and the live return of The Strokes will all be gracing New York City's Randall's Island. Could they not come to the Isle of Wight instead?

Kanye West's Yeezus tour: How are British members of the newly created Church of Yeezianity supposed to worship the messiah if he won't tour here?

Firefly Fest: Foo Fighters, Jack Johnson, Arctic Monkeys, and, again, Outkast. They've said they're playing 40 festivals this summer, and if at least one of them isn't in England, we'll tut very loudly and write a strongly worded letter.

SXSW: Taking place in Austin, Texas in March, South By South West is like the Edinburgh Fringe, but with huge bands, sunshine and barbecues . This year's lineup includes London Grammar, Chloe Howl, The Black Lips, Charli XCX, The Orwells and Gary Numan. And, just to rub salt in the wound, most of those are British.

Super Bowl: Perhaps we could make our own UK version of the Super Bowl, but without the annoying football interlude that interrupts the halftime show. Previous acts include Madonna and Beyonce, and now Red Hot Chili Peppers and Bruno Mars are to hit the stage.

Grammys: OK, so they've got Daft Punk, Stevie Wonder, and half of The Beatles performing, but at the Brits we've got Pixie Lott, Rudimental AND Tinie Tempah, so there.

Lorde: It's safe to say that Lorde has earned herself a pretty huge UK fanbase since she was catapulted to stardom, dare we say superstardom, last year. If she doesn't tour here, there's going to be some pretty angry 'Disciples.' No, sorry, she hates that.

Hangout Fest: OK, a UK festival on the beach would be a slightly different affair, but bad weather = better atmosphere, right? Fine, we hope they all get sunburnt while watching The Killers and Black Keys.

Arctic Monkeys US tour: They're playing a few awards ceremonies, a couple of massive Finsbury Park shows and the like in the UK, but they're doing a great big fat tour of the US in 2014. Another hugely successful album and they've gone and abandoned us. Heartless.

Paramore & Fall Out Boy US tour: These two bands uniting for a tour will be a dream come true for fans of the genre. Unfortunately it's a dream that can't quite make it across the pond...yet. There's a petition going to bring them to these shores. Get signing, emo lovers.