This beer-holding umbrella: No, us neither (Source: www.snowchamps.nl)
This solar-powered bikini: Don't just let your bronzed skin feel the benefits of the sun's rays - charge your phone at the same time. (Source: www.solarcoterie.com)
This Official Kelis tent: Your milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, but they hang around because of this awesome tent - damn right, it's better than yours. (Source: www.fieldcandy.com)
These laser finger beam things: Daft Punk may not be playing, but you can recreate a little robot rock of your own for less than four quid with these tacky glowy-up ring type things. (Source: www.red5.co.uk)
This tiny finger plate: Bring a touch of class to your festival dining experience. A cold tin of all-day breakfast never seemed so refined. (Source: www.powderooms.com)
Light-up tent pegs: OK, these are actually pretty cool, useful and likely to prevent many an injury. One must remember however, that the No.1 crime at festivals is tent peg theft. (Source: www.traveloutdoors.co.uk)
The Shee-Wee: Ah, modern times - where women can now pee upright like men in the less-than-ideal festival environment. Reports of splash-back have upset many a female customer, while others enjoy the novelty of not having to crouch behind a bush. (Source: www.traveloutdoors.co.uk)
These 'Festival Tiger Feet' shoe covers: Roaaarrrr (Source: www.traveloutdoors.co.uk)
This foam Facebook 'like' finger: Skip the malarkey of social media and show bands your immediate appreciation with this iconic glove. WARNING: Likely to infuriate everyone around you. (Source: www.traveloutdoors.co.uk)
This solar-powered shower bag: For the clean campers out there, this shower bag only takes three hours to heat up 20 litres of water - and it's less than six quid (Source: www.amazon.co.uk)
These glow-stick earrings: If Pat Butcher was a raver... (Source: www.glowsticks.co.uk)
This horn goblet: Drink like a WARRIOR, but good luck getting it past security. (Source: www.red5.co.uk)
This wine bra: And for the lady (or cross-dressing chap) with a taste for smuggling booze past security, we have the delightfully-named 'Wine Rack'. (Source: www.baronbob.com and www.amazon.co.uk)
This beer holster: Nothing screams 'MACHO MAN' like a camouflage, army-style beer holster. Be the envy of all your lad mates when Kasabian headline the Pyramid Stage, or celebrate the Manic Street Preachers' Holy Bible anniversary with some military chic (source: www.waycoolgadgets.com and www.amazon.co.uk)
This coat, that is also a tent, and a sleeping bag: Travel light! Sleep uncomfortably! Have no space for storage! Good look pulling in one of these (Source: www.jakpak.com and www.GEARpatrol.com)