First time at Reading & Leeds this year? You're in for a treat. A tiring, muddy, beer-fuelled treat. Here's some things you might need to know.
Your friends are going to hate you: The flurry of Instagram and Facebook #Reading or #Leeds updates, the constant memories and tales, the words 'You weren't there, man' - yup, you're about to give all of your friends plenty of reasons to despise you. But whatever, you win because you went to Reading/Leeds and they didn't.
Be aware of your location: At Leeds Festival, you're a fair few miles away from the city centre, so be prepared with everything you need when you pack. At Reading however, you're bang in the middle of town near the city centre, and can easily nip out for a pizza, pint, or quick grocery shop.
Take pictures: You're a part of a festival where bands play sets that they'll remember for the rest of their careers. Nirvana's set at Reading in 1992 goes down as one of the greatest performances in rock history. You may witness a performance of a similar calibre, so take some snaps to show your kids in the future. Just don't overdo it with the camera phone, or you'll seriously irritate everyone around you.
Don't over pack: Taking a new outfit for every day is a great idea in theory, but in practice it's back-breaking. Save your strength for carrying booze, and bring one spare change of clothes and new underwear for every day. If it comes to it and you get filthy, there's Oxfam shops on site to fix yourself up with something new. You'll have drunk the booze, so carrying extra clothes on the way back won't be so burdensome.
Wellies or walking boots are a must: Having wet feet will ruin your festival and though there's a chance it won't rain at all it's very rare. Pack them in case.
Go and see comedy: After all, you will have (we hope) left your television behind, so here's a truly excellent way of making up for it.
Watch new bands: The organisers at Leeds/ Reading to a very fine scouting mission and the smaller bands are very good and will be on the major stages next year so see them in a more intimate setting before they take off.
Take Alka-Seltzer: It's more popular in America but it's the most proven hangover cure available on the market. That 4 quid spent at Boots on the way to the festival will be the best 4 quid you've ever spent when your hangover disappears.
Get to the front: Getting to the front of the stage for the biggest bands takes stealthy planning and flattering charm. Find the least dense-looking route and then ask very nicely, and people will move out of their way for you. If you explain it's your favourite band, that will usually be enough. No one will believe you if you say your mum is down there. Even if she is. Also, for the headliners, you may want to worm your way in at least three bands in advance.
Wear fancy dress: Take something you wouldn't normally wear and add a bit of colour to your life. You wouldn't be able to walk down your high street in an animal onezie without people batting an eyelid so why not make the most of it at Reading & Leeds?
Don't drink too much: If you drink too much on the first night then the next day will be ruined. Be sure that if there's a day of the festival that you don't want to be spending in your tent cursing your existence whilst your friends have the time of their lives, you stay within your bounds.
Keep your valuables in a lock up: If you have any seriously valuable possessions that you can't afford to lose, use the festival lockers. They're manned 24 hours and will ensure the only sick feeling you get will be if you drink too much.
Be decisive: Check out the schedule in advance to pour over those painful band timetable clashes. Despairing over which band to watch during the worst festival clashes can actually cause you to give up and miss both bands. Once you've made your decision, be proud of it and don't worry about what could have been.
Avoid chain-watching bands: Festivals are a great way of seeing lots of bands you've always wanted to see in a short space of time. However, it can wear you down if you don't take necessary breaks and explore the other more wholesome side of the festival. Take a massage, sit down at the bar with a good friend and watch the festival go by at moments, rather than rushing around in crowds all day.
Get a timetable: With it, you'll be able to see what bands are playing on what stage - rather than relying on the kindness of strangers. Get one on the first day. Those who wait until the last day will end up flicking through it and saying "Oh, I can't believe I missed their set!"
Dry shampoo: You're less likely to meet the love of your life at the festival if you've got very greasy hair. Take some dry shampoo and try to hide the fact you probably won't use the showers.
Take warm clothing: Whilst you're likely to be bathing in the last of the summer sun, at night it gets bitterly cold - especially if you stick around until the end. The end of August temperatures are much cooler at night than in the height of summer.
Bring your own booze: You are allowed to take in drink so long as it isn't kept in glass. You aren't allowed to take your own alcohol into the main arena where the bands are playing - however, spend a few hours with your friends having a drink at camp before hand. Having your own box of wine or crate of beer is a great asset for your camp and will also help you bond with your campsite neighbours.
Take ear-plugs: Sleeping at a festival dedicated to loud noise and constant partying isn't easy unless you're ridiculously drunk, so take ear plugs for the nights where you manage to stay somewhat sober. You can wake early the next day and enjoy the sunshine slots on the main stage with a clear head. A lot of the best new bands take to the stage early on, so it'll be worth it.
Camp sensibly: By the time Wednesday afternoon arrives, there will already be masses of people on-site. Jumble sale style jostling for the best spots will occur, and you'll also notice people putting up little fences to mark their territory before their friends arrive. Get there as early as possible on Wednesday to ensure you're not left camping next to the toilets or a really busy pathway where someone could end up trampling your tent down.
Make new friends: As good as seeing everything you want to see is, and getting around is so much quicker by yourself, the best festival memories will be had with friends old and new - not standing on the edge of the crowd by yourself gazing over at the next big thing. You're going to be camping within feet of like-minded people - expect to find your new best friends among them.