![Tom Waits - 'Christmas Card From A Hooker In Minneapolis': No-one would associate Tom Waits' voice with Christmas cheer, and this song doesn't change things. It's a Christmas letter from a prostitute, explaining that she's pregnant, but she's stopped taking dope and married a trombone player. So things are looking up right? Wrong. SPOILER ALERT - the song ends with]()
Tom Waits - 'Christmas Card From A Hooker In Minneapolis': No-one would associate Tom Waits' voice with Christmas cheer, and this song doesn't change things. It's a Christmas letter from a prostitute, explaining that she's pregnant, but she's stopped taking dope and married a trombone player. So things are looking up right? Wrong. SPOILER ALERT - the song ends with "If you want to know the truth of it? I don't have a husband, he don't play the trombone, and I need to borrow money to pay this lawyer..." And a Happy New Year.
![The Pogues - 'Fairytale of New York': Though it's a favourite for drunken groups to put their arms around each other and sway to sentimentally, this is actually a desperately sad tale of a relationship fizzling out with disappointment and anger.]()
The Pogues - 'Fairytale of New York': Though it's a favourite for drunken groups to put their arms around each other and sway to sentimentally, this is actually a desperately sad tale of a relationship fizzling out with disappointment and anger. "I could have been someone" slurs MacGowan, "Well so could anyone," comes MacColl's cutting and heartbreaking reply, "You took my dreams from me when I first found you."
![Jona Lewie - 'Stop The Cavalry': There's a plodding, catchy melody to this anti-war song. In fact, it almost fails to tug at the heartstrings, until the]()
Jona Lewie - 'Stop The Cavalry': There's a plodding, catchy melody to this anti-war song. In fact, it almost fails to tug at the heartstrings, until the "dub a dub a dums" subside as Lewie sings "I wish I was at home for Christmas."
![Glasvegas - 'A Snowflake Fell (And It Felt Like A Kiss)': It's quite bleak... OK, it's very bleak, but there's a glimmer of hope in the refrain -]()
Glasvegas - 'A Snowflake Fell (And It Felt Like A Kiss)': It's quite bleak... OK, it's very bleak, but there's a glimmer of hope in the refrain - "For a snowflake fell and it felt like a kiss. Now I'm OK." At this point we'll take any piece of optimism we can get.
![Joni Mitchell - 'River':]()
Joni Mitchell - 'River': "It's coming on Christmas, they're cutting down trees. They're putting up reindeer and singing songs of joy and peace." So far so good. "I wish I had a river I could skate away on." Oh.
![Frightened Rabbit - 'It's Christmas So We'll Stop': Although it's about how Christmas is a time to press pause on all your troubles, all it really does is highlight how miserable the other 364 days of the year are. For them, the joy of Christmas is so temporary it's painful.]()
Frightened Rabbit - 'It's Christmas So We'll Stop': Although it's about how Christmas is a time to press pause on all your troubles, all it really does is highlight how miserable the other 364 days of the year are. For them, the joy of Christmas is so temporary it's painful.
![Hurts - 'All I Want For Christmas Is New Year's Day.' You'd think with a name like Hurts they'd be all about the festive cheer, eh? BUT NO. It's an underrated gem about the misery of loneliness at Christmas, waiting for the New Year to bring a fresh (and hopefully, less depressing) start.]()
Hurts - 'All I Want For Christmas Is New Year's Day.' You'd think with a name like Hurts they'd be all about the festive cheer, eh? BUT NO. It's an underrated gem about the misery of loneliness at Christmas, waiting for the New Year to bring a fresh (and hopefully, less depressing) start.
![Wham! - 'Last Christmas': The reasons for including this song are twofold - 1) It's about someone whose heart has been broken. 2) It's all on one note. Which is pretty depressing.]()
Wham! - 'Last Christmas': The reasons for including this song are twofold - 1) It's about someone whose heart has been broken. 2) It's all on one note. Which is pretty depressing.
![Sufjan Stevens - 'Did I Make You Cry On Christmas Day? (Well, You Deserved It)': There's a fragility in Stevens' voice that means he could make almost anything sound desperately sad. The bracketed part of the title is never actually said in the song, so you're holding out for an outburst that never comes. Which somehow makes it even sadder.]()
Sufjan Stevens - 'Did I Make You Cry On Christmas Day? (Well, You Deserved It)': There's a fragility in Stevens' voice that means he could make almost anything sound desperately sad. The bracketed part of the title is never actually said in the song, so you're holding out for an outburst that never comes. Which somehow makes it even sadder.
![Darlene Love - 'Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)': This one's actually quite upbeat and cheery... until you listen to the lyrics:]()
Darlene Love - 'Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)': This one's actually quite upbeat and cheery... until you listen to the lyrics: "If there was a way I'd hold back this tear. But it's Christmas day. Baby please come home."
![Elvis - 'Blue Christmas.' He's having a really terrible Christmas without you, and he's not letting you forget it in a hurry.]()
Elvis - 'Blue Christmas.' He's having a really terrible Christmas without you, and he's not letting you forget it in a hurry.
![The Posies - 'Christmas':]()
The Posies - 'Christmas': "It's colder in this house than anywhere in Boston. That's OK, Christmas means little to me." Bah, humbug.
![Mud - 'Lonely This Christmas': Even the inclusion of what sounds like a barbershop quartet can't cheer up Mud and their wobbly voices.]()
Mud - 'Lonely This Christmas': Even the inclusion of what sounds like a barbershop quartet can't cheer up Mud and their wobbly voices. "Try to imagine a house that's not a home. Try to imagine a Christmas all alone." Do we have to?