![Be the guy who blindly chucks a whole pint of beer: You just bought that for a jaw droppingly extortionate price, and now It's all over my brand new threads. To be honest, I'm kind of in awe at the absolute disregard for other human life.]()
Be the guy who blindly chucks a whole pint of beer: You just bought that for a jaw droppingly extortionate price, and now It's all over my brand new threads. To be honest, I'm kind of in awe at the absolute disregard for other human life.
![Film the whole thing on your phone / tablet: You're never going to watch this footage back my friend, and I genuinely can't see a god damn thing behind your fruit based humungous pad thing.]()
Film the whole thing on your phone / tablet: You're never going to watch this footage back my friend, and I genuinely can't see a god damn thing behind your fruit based humungous pad thing.
![Be the completely motionless hipster prat: I came here for a good time pal, but what about you? You literally haven't moved an inch since the band took to the stage, let alone nodded your head in a robotic but at least approving manner. And that beard? Don't get me started.]()
Be the completely motionless hipster prat: I came here for a good time pal, but what about you? You literally haven't moved an inch since the band took to the stage, let alone nodded your head in a robotic but at least approving manner. And that beard? Don't get me started.
![Be a crowd surfing addict: This guy just won't give up and the bouncers are too stupid to throw him out. He'll keep coming back for more until people start refusing to lift him up and the erratic flying kicks finally cease. Praise the Lord.]()
Be a crowd surfing addict: This guy just won't give up and the bouncers are too stupid to throw him out. He'll keep coming back for more until people start refusing to lift him up and the erratic flying kicks finally cease. Praise the Lord.
![Be the guy who still thinks it's funny to yell]()
Be the guy who still thinks it's funny to yell "Free Bird!": This hasn't been funny since the dawn of man, when cave men and cave women would perform drum solos for large crowds with the decapitated heads of those who tried to steal their wheel.
![Push your way through with a human centipede: Although I admire the ingenuity and camaraderie of your crowd pushing plan, It's still the most annoying thing known to man, regardless of whether I'm waiting for my mates at the bar so we can do the exact same thing.]()
Push your way through with a human centipede: Although I admire the ingenuity and camaraderie of your crowd pushing plan, It's still the most annoying thing known to man, regardless of whether I'm waiting for my mates at the bar so we can do the exact same thing.
![Be that guy who know knows all the words and needs everybody to know: We understand. In preparation for this seminal musical moment in your life, you've laboriously gone back through their whole catalogue and learnt every last lyric and ad-lib. Unfortunately, we're more interested on what%u2019s going on on-stage than how god your memory is.]()
Be that guy who know knows all the words and needs everybody to know: We understand. In preparation for this seminal musical moment in your life, you've laboriously gone back through their whole catalogue and learnt every last lyric and ad-lib. Unfortunately, we're more interested on what%u2019s going on on-stage than how god your memory is.
![Be the guest list guy who strolls to the front of a spiralling queue: Fuck this guy for obvious reasons. Wait, I am this guy? Shit.]()
Be the guest list guy who strolls to the front of a spiralling queue: Fuck this guy for obvious reasons. Wait, I am this guy? Shit.
![Be a painfully loved up couple: You guys can't possibly be that happy, so please stop pretending. What about that raging argument you had on the way to the gig about the best route to take on the tube? You're not fooling anybody.]()
Be a painfully loved up couple: You guys can't possibly be that happy, so please stop pretending. What about that raging argument you had on the way to the gig about the best route to take on the tube? You're not fooling anybody.
![Be the guy who's constantly trying to start a moshpit: This guy is so desperate to open up a pit and unleash his inner demons, he'll even try it on during the obligatory slow song. Give it up buddy.]()
Be the guy who's constantly trying to start a moshpit: This guy is so desperate to open up a pit and unleash his inner demons, he'll even try it on during the obligatory slow song. Give it up buddy.
![Be the moron who spends 20 minutes editing an Instagram photo while the band's playing: This needs no further explanation.]()
Be the moron who spends 20 minutes editing an Instagram photo while the band's playing: This needs no further explanation.
![Be the guy that takes his shirt off for no conceivable reason: This isn't even acceptable at the front after over an hour of flinging yourself around like a rag-doll, let alone during the support act. Put it back on, please!]()
Be the guy that takes his shirt off for no conceivable reason: This isn't even acceptable at the front after over an hour of flinging yourself around like a rag-doll, let alone during the support act. Put it back on, please!
![Be the person that gets on somebody's shoulders for far too long: WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY? I hate you with all of my heart and I hope you fall and break something (not the neck, though). If you're a strapping young lad and somebody asks you to lift them up, oblige but then turn to face away from the stage.]()
Be the person that gets on somebody's shoulders for far too long: WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY? I hate you with all of my heart and I hope you fall and break something (not the neck, though). If you're a strapping young lad and somebody asks you to lift them up, oblige but then turn to face away from the stage.
![Be the guy who throws piss: You belong in cave.]()
Be the guy who throws piss: You belong in cave.
![Be the guy who endlessly shouts song requests: The band have a setlist my friend, you can see it on the bloody stage. Requests are good fun if they ask for them, but if not, we're not interested in your ridiculous knowledge of their pre-success cassette b-sides. Quit it.]()
Be the guy who endlessly shouts song requests: The band have a setlist my friend, you can see it on the bloody stage. Requests are good fun if they ask for them, but if not, we're not interested in your ridiculous knowledge of their pre-success cassette b-sides. Quit it.