Wednesday 26th November 2014 by Alexandra Pollard

The most brutal Amazon reviews of 2014's best albums

'What the hell is he on about for Christ's sake?'

Aphex Twin - Syro: "Sounds like it's stuck in the '90's and lost in a cul-de-sac where a myriad of flimsy ideas go to die. People who know about electronic music now are not listening to this. Utterly irrelevant."

Kasabian - 48:13: "I can't stand Kasabian. I bought this for my wife. Perhaps you should ask her."

First Aid Kit - Stay Gold: "Bordering on the insipid."

Jack White - Lazaretto: "At times it really feels like he is just going through the motions, and when he begins to bore himself he throws in a quick flourish to disrupt the rhythm. This has gone onto CD storage rack, I suspect it will never leave it."

Interpol - El Pintor: "Long long long. Wrong wrong wrong. Save your cash."

Morrissey - World Peace Is None Of Your Business: "What is it with this guy and his weird perception of everything. Lets' Face it he has every right to be miserable as he is from OOOOp North where they always have SOD ALL!!!!apart from Pease Pudding!!!and moan about it!!! World Peace is None of Your Business!!! What the Hell is he on about for Christs Sake!!!"

Royal Blood - Royal Blood: "OK if you want to upset the neighbours by playing it loud I guess."

Lana Del Rey - Ultraviolence: "Reminds me of Alanis Morisette's second album. That was pretty awful too."

Hozier - Hozier: "Hosiery is aimed at the clueless music listener. The type who listen to John Creedon or Today FM. People who think Billy Joel is a genius. Hosiery, a flash in the pan...file under Jedward, Westlife and Daniel O'Donnell."

Lykke Li - I Never Learn: "A bad idea."

Black Keys - Turn Blue: "Its lacklustre and has no spirit . The songs seem to drone on forever and go nowhere . Played it once all the way through and shall probably never listen to it again ."

Brody Dalle - Diploid Love: "Originally I wrote a really bad review of this album and after that I felt really bad so I came back and erased it."

Tags: Morrissey, Jack White, First Aid Kit

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It's that time of the year when publications like ours become overwhelmingly positive, and hand out lavish praise, usually in list form, to all of the best albums of the year. That's not how the good people of Amazon operate though.

We might think Hozier's self-titled album is a rich, soulful and mature debut, but an Amazon reviewer disagrees: "Hosiery is aimed at the clueless music listener. The type who listen to John Creedon or Today FM." We described Lana Del Rey's Ultraviolence as "slowly suffocating with its beauty", but not everyone agrees. "Reminds me of Alanis Morissette's second album," reads a one star Amazon review. "That was pretty awful too."

If you're already finding yourself overcome with musical positivity, have a look at these furious but brilliant Amazon reviews, and cleanse yourself of that pesky optimism.

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