More about: Britney SpearsMadonnaCheryl ColeChristina AguileraNicole ScherzingerMariah Carey
From Madonna to Mariah, bigger doesn't always mean better
Considering how famous and successful the likes of Nicole Scherzinger, Cheryl Cole, Britney Spears and Madonna are, you'd expect them to have better songs than they do. Sadly, it seems, that isn't the case...
It's hard for us to admit this - when popstars give us amazing songs we expect more of a similar standard, but okay, we suppose that they're only human.
Still, sometimes there are songs that are so bad, it's difficult to understand exactly how they happened. So, of course, we've taken the opportunity to collect seven of the worst for your persual.
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From the star who brought us 'Poison' and Don't Hold Your Breath'...
..comes 'Boomerang'.
It's strange that Nicole Scherzinger has never quite been able to 'make it' in the UK, despite the fact that her debut album went straight into the Top 10 on the albums chart and also spawned three Top 5 singles. Maybe it's the fact that she's now releasing singles like 'Boomerang' that have something to do with it; a generic dance-fuelled fizzle that sounds slightly like every other pop song you've ever heard. It also features the lyrics "you can break my heart but you can't scratch my name." Err... what?
From the star who brought us 'Motivation' and 'Stole'...
..comes 'Kisses Down Low'.
Remember 'Stole'? And how good that was? And when Kelly released 'Motivation' in 2011 and there was a resounding feeling of 'she's still got it'? Keep that in your mind as you listen to 'Kisses Down Low', and try and work out how this was allowed to happen because honestly, we have no idea. Somehow this track ends up being another formulaic sex jam and sadly, even the production from Mike WiLL can't save it.
From the star who brought us 'Fight For This Love' and 'Call My Name'...
..comes 'Ghetto Baby'.
Love her or hate her, there's no denying that Cheryl has brought us some really catchy songs. And 'Ghetto Baby' is another good song... just not for Cheryl. The song was originally written by Lana Del Rey and her influence is clear all over - it's like listening to a really bad Del Rey tribute act, particularly the awkward attempt at a sultry American accent during the spoken word bits. It's impossible to listen to without thinking about just how much better Lana would've done it.
From the star who brought us 'Like A Prayer' and 'Hung Up'...
..comes 'Girl Gone Wild'.
Okay, so when you've got as many consistent hits as Madonna has, it's slightly inevitable that there's going to be a dud or two in there. Having said that, 'Girl Gone Wild' is a bigger dud than most - there's absolutely nothing original about it, with traces of previous songs and lyrics that barely amount to more than an electronic burble while referencing Cyndi Lauper and Rihanna. Surely the Queen of Pop can give us something better than this.
From the star who brought us 'We Belong Together' and 'Always Be My Baby'...
..comes 'Triumphant (Get 'Em)'.
Oh, Mariah, all we want to do is love you but a weak collaboration with Rick Ross and Meek Mill is not the way to let us. For starters, it's more like the song features Mariah rather than the other way around; she's barely there. Plus, for a song called 'Triumphant', this is not what we wanted. Powerhouse vocals and a fist-pumping female anthem would have been perfect - lackluster singing and dated production is what we got.
From the star who brought us 'Womanizer' and 'Toxic'...
..comes 'Scream & Shout'.
The very knowledge that this exists shakes us to our core. Britney, why?! You're so much better than this. The incredible distaste for Will.i.am aside - he's like the opposite of King Midas in that everything he touches is ruined - what's with the weird British accent? The only good thing is the 'it's Britney, bitch' sample and to be honest, we'd rather just listen to 'Gimme More'. 'Scream & Shout' is reptitive, overhyped rubbish with a slightly catchy hook; namely, the sort of thing that Will.i.am does best. Britney should've left this one to Tulisa.
From the star who brought us 'Beautiful' and 'Dirrty'...
..comes 'Just A Fool'.
Country pop has never been Christina's forte, so it's odd that out of everyone, she teamed up with Blake Shelton for a duet. Christina oversings it, reminding us how great her voice actually is while simultaneously disappointing us by ruining any kind of melody the song had. Christina tries too hard to showcase herself and ends up shouting Blake down, and failing to communicate anything meaningful. Either stick to powerhouse songs or tone it down in future, Christina, because we barely make it through this.
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