More about: Chvrches

Chvrches singer Lauren Mayberry has written a frank, open and emotional essay about her experience of an 'abusive relationship' with an ex-boyfriend. 

The piece was written for actress, author, comedian and genius Lena Denham's Lenny Letter. The full piece won't be available for subscribers to read until tomorrow, but here's a very brave excerpt, via Stereogum: 

"We were arguing, again. Like most times it happened, I wasn’t quite sure why he was so upset. I had tried to placate him; I had tried to reason; I had tried to apologize, but nothing seemed to be having any impact other than making the situation worse. Then he backed me against a wall and slammed his hand repeatedly on the surface above my head. When I broke down in shock, he said, “Oh, don’t act like I hit you.” That moment was the final wake-up call I shouldn’t have needed. 

"Things like this had happened before but to a lesser extent. He would pull me by my arms and wrists when he was frustrated and thought I wasn’t listening (and then say he was sorry). He would slam doors on me (and then apologize). He once grabbed at the steering wheel of my car when I was driving so we could pull over to “talk,” then shouted and beat his fists repeatedly on the dashboard when I didn’t stop the vehicle.

"At the time, it felt like things changed slowly, like I woke up one day in a relationship and a reality that I did not recognize, but I’m sure the signs were there the whole time. When we met, he seemed charming. He was smart, passionate, creative, and caring. But after the first few months, he became increasingly paranoid, insecure, jealous, and depressed. Everything became my fault. I was careless. I was stupid. I was selfish. I was not trustworthy. I was a weak person who would fail at anything she tried so I shouldn’t bother. He hated me, but then he loved me and I was the best person in the world — until I wasn’t anymore."

Mayberry previously revealed that their new album dealt with former partners, when she said: "'Leave a Trace' is the middle finger mic-drop. It’s about that point where you’re like, “There’s no point having this conversation anyways: There will be no resolve, I won’t feel better about it, you won’t feel better about it, no outcome from this will actually change my reality.”

"It makes me feel better to write about that—I’ve done something constructive with it. You don’t put that on other people, you put that into what you do. That’s always the way I’ve written lyrics. My ex-partners are not friends with me, but I’m OK with that."

Mayberry has frequently spoken out about the disgusting misogyny she experiences on a daily basis - making headlines when she appeared on Channel 4 News to speak out against sexism in music. 

This came to an ugly peak when internet trolls accused her of 'being a whore' for her appearance in the 'Leave A Trace' video. She also took action to call out and shame a gig-goer who asked to marry her last month. 

After launching it at an incredibly and intimate gig in London last week, Chvrches' brilliant second album Every Open Eye is out now. 

Tickets for Chvrches' UK tour dates are on sale now. See full dates below. For tickets and more information, click here.

Monday 16 November - Brighton Dome
Tuesday 17 November - Bristol, O2 Academy
Thursday 19 November - Manchester, Albert Hall
Saturday 21 November - Newcastle, O2 Academy
Monday 23 November - Aberdeen, Music Hall
Tuesday 24 November - Dundee, Fat Sam’s
Wednesday 25 November - Birmingham, O2 Academy
Friday 27 November - London, Alexandra Palace (w/ special guest Four Tet)

More about: Chvrches