It's 1 December. Which means it's time to open the first door of your advent calendar, dig out your Christmas jumpers, bring the plastic tree down from the loft, and start listening to those same fourteen Christmas songs you listen to every years. Unless...
There's nothing we can do to help with your burnt turkey this Christmas, but we can offer you some alternatives to the songs you'll hear in every department store, restaurant, and living room across the land.
Here are the most underrated Christmas songs of all time.
The Futureheads - 'Christmas Was Better In The 80s': It starts off with quiet northern vocals accompanied by gentle keyboards, before erupting into a riot of bells, "la la las" and general merriment. The whole point of the song may be to lament a decline in Christmas's quality, but this song certainly improves things.
Julian Casablancas - 'I Wish It Was Christmas Today': There's a surprising and endearing lack of cynicism in this one. "I don't care what anyone says, Christmas is full of cheer." Good for you, Julian.
Johnny Cash - 'That Christmasy Feeling': Cash's vocals on this are like a big hug. It's jam-packed with Christmas imagery, all of which we can surely relate to on Christmas day: "Singing Joy to the World and Here Comes Santa Claus, Mama's baking turkey and daddy's making popcorn balls." Well, except that last bit.
Reuben - 'Christmas Is Awesome': If your elderly relative has ruined your post-Christmas dinner charades game by falling asleep, pop this song on. Actually don't, they might die of shock. It's not exactly 'Silent Night', but if you enjoy heavy metal bands screaming lyrics like "WE'RE SORRY ABOUT ALL OF THAT 'NAILED TO A CROSS' BUSINESS. EVERYBODY IS WELCOME, YEAH CHRISTMAS IS AWESOME", then this song's for you.
The Kinks - 'Father Christmas': There's nothing like a bit of social commentary as you open your presents. "Have yourself a Merry Christmas, have yourself a good time." Thanks Ray! Cheers! "But remembers the kids who got nothing, while you're drinking down your wine." Oh. It's similar in message to 'Do They Know It's Christmas?', but with slightly less of the patronising circle jerk.
Kate Bush - Bush's ethereal vocals are inherently suited to the magic of Christmas. This one's uplifting and just the right side of left-field.
Destiny's Child - 8 Days of Christmas. A modern (is '90s still modern?) play on the whole 12 days of Christmas thing. Worth a mention for Beyonce's hilarious Christmas wishlist - after all, who wouldn't want 'a diamond belly ring' and 'dirty denim jeans'? NOT US.
Emmy The Great & Tim Wheeler - 'Christmas Moon': The backing music samples Mud's 'Lonely This Christmas', so it's really hard to go wrong from the start. The lyrics are lovely, and Emmy's vocals are clean and crisp - the song just oozes Christmas.
Josh Weller Paloma Faith - 'It's Christmas (And I Hate You)'. A wonderful combination of bitter, resentful and uplifting."This year, my present to you..." teases Faith, "I'm leaving you. You ho ho ho."
Hurts - 'All I Want for Christmas is New Year's Day': The lyrics aren't exactly steeped in tidings of comfort and joy, but it's a cathartic, beautiful song with a sprinkling of bells.
