Waxing Lyrical: Are Songwriters Getting Worse?

Lyrics, they’re not easy, but when you get them right...

“I gave her heart, but she wanted my soul, don’t think twice it’s alright” - Dylan, ‘Don’t Think Twice’

“Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away” - McCartney, ‘Yesterday’

“She's a tear that hangs inside my soul forever...” - Buckley, ‘Lover, You Should’ve Come Over

“She tied you to a kitchen chair, she broke your throne and she cut your hair and from your lips she drew the Hallelujah” - Cohen ‘Hallelujah’

“I was looking for a job and then I found a job, and heaven knows I’m miserable now” - Morrissey, ‘Heaven Knows I’m Miserable Now’

Throughout popular music many lyricists/poets have graced us with some of the most touching and significant work ever put to paper. So how are we getting on today?

I know this is going to be a sweeping generalisation and will no doubt get plenty of complaints, but it does sometimes feel like we are somewhat sliding off the rails with regards to depth and quality of prose. Currently we have a few artists around who are going out of their way to make Gavin Rossdale look like a poet-laureate and still doing pretty damn well.  Let’s have a look at a few examples.

First up, Bloc Party with ‘One Month Off’, most irritating for its blatant reference to trendy east London: “When we started this it was paradise, not just Bethnal Green” - ugh. I’m virtually positive that anyone who has ever been to Bethnal Green will back me up in saying that it is certainly not the kind of place you would mistake for any kind of paradise, unless I’ve been misinformed and paradise is in fact crime, filth, council estates and kebab shops.

Like a relentless shit-hurling machine the Ting Tings are always at the forefront of the crass aspects of music providing us with this gem from the smash hit, modern classic that is ‘ That’s Not My Name’: “They call me 'hell', they call me 'Stacey', they call me 'her', they call me 'Jane' - That's not my name”. My, my, how it speaks right to my soul – truly a voice of a generation...

Of course, you can’t do a section on poor lyrics without giving Borrell a little mention. “I don't wanna kidnap the truth and negotiate” from ‘Before I fall to Pieces’ is probably the highlight of a career splattered with baffling lyrical failings. Ok, one more quick one, “Auditioning to be an obituary in the Daily Mail”, from the poignant ‘Burberry Blue Eyes’. Ack.

Anyway, this whole article is leading up to a special mention for one band who have pushed idiotic, inane lyrics to a whole new level, ladies and gentlemen, I give you Fight Like Apes:

“Hey baby what's with this smile, you know he smells like ham and he tastes like bile”

“Like a brand new scent for modern man, invented by cartoons” – ‘Jake Summers’

and...

“And fumigate my room, it smells like socks and tastes like apple schnapps”

“As the saying goes I'm pretty nift” – ‘Tie Me Up With Jackets’

(Note the two smells like.... tastes like....)

I honestly struggle to think what I can say about these, I suggest everyone takes the time to look up the collective works of Fight Like Apes and just tries to contain their anger at the pointlessness of it all. On first listen it is seemingly a stream of consciousness forced to rhyme, but, oddly, it's as if they have intentionally set out to write infuriating lyrics. I just cannot understand how the band members can stand up and say, “Yes, we wrote that song”, without the worry of being hunted down and shot. Somehow this group were raised aloft from the hundreds of other groups desperate to “make it” and given a platform to communicate to a mass audience, you think they would have seized the opportunity to try and impart something worthwhile and memorable... apparently not. Worst of all, they don’t even appear humiliated or embarrassed - mind-blowing stuff.

Music-wise, the tracks are actually quite catchy – but, thanks to the writing style, it’s not in a good way, more a, “I can’t get that fucking stupid song out of my head....” way. Lyrics aside, I could imagine them building a sizeable fan base but thanks to the content they come across as nothing more than a gimmick, setting themselves up for a fall - it really is the ultimate disposable content.

Pop music does occasionally lean toward a "throwaway" nature, and therefore there is always likely to be some questionable content around, but I really would prefer it if the worst offenders were forced to justify and explain their particularly brainless work. Those that fail to come up with an answer of any substance should be committed to repeated listens of the offending material. Fight Like Apes wouldn't last an hour before their brains began trickling out their ears.

Before I am bombarded with examples, I do realise there are many, many artists who are actually labouring over creating worthwhile lyrics, but where’s the fun in talking about them?