- by Janne Oinonen
- Wednesday, April 19, 2006
Ouch! If you thought that the demonic synth-guitar doodles on the latest single from rapidly sinking mock-cock-rockers Darkness were the most diabolical sounds to be unleashed on the unsuspecting public in 2006, wait until you hear the squeal of the far-from-organic keyboard emissions on the snappily entitled ‘Mechanical Viper Grinds Slowly North’ here. Satanic, I tells you, even without the servitude to forces of evil that is optional but recommended amongst the daft domain of old school metal, which the more boneheaded bombardments on the Glasgow three-piece’s debut frequently border - as befits a band whose moniker would suit a hanger-on member of Manowar.
Alas, whilst the band’s earth-trampling gallop advances with the mercilessness of Attila the Hun’s posse in ride-by mode, musically the six stagnant selections here rarely amount to much more than half-decent riffs looking for an elusive point, whilst the troika’s self-proclaimed prog leanings are evident mostly in few of the tracks going on for half an eternity. The overall effect of even the best bits of ‘Advanced Techniques for Hands And Feet’ is like listening to the less (unintentionally) hilarious bits of Iron Maiden before the foot-on-monitor wailing on topics related to dragon-slaying, medieval warfare and so forth enters the frame.
Which, we're sure you’ll agree, is not much fun at all, although the suspicion here is that Titus Gein are in it for a giggle, a theory supported by both the wacky song titles, the none-more-daft CD cover - essentially a graphically challenged sci-fi enthusiast’s low-budget portrayal of the Information Superhighway, on which the trio rock out, blissfully unaware of the gaping black hole expanding behind them - and the band’s seemingly inexhaustible selection of stupendously silly sounds, including the whole of the opener and sole non-instrumental ‘Insurrection of the Electric Ghosts’, which unveils the unlikely sound of Kraftwerk emulating a middling hard rock troupe, or, alternatively, a bunch of boogie-drenched metal-heads experimenting with a vocoder.
Priest. Maiden. Sabbath. Zeppelin. All hallowed metal mammoths gargantuan enough to rule out the informality of first-name terms. On the basis of ‘Advanced Techniques for Hands And Feet’, Gein is an unlikely addition to that fearsome list.
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- who the f**k do you think you are? you might want to secure your grasp of the english language before entering into an actual dicussion of music. ’Half-decent riffs looking for an elusive point’; that’s pretty much the point of music, to find your own subjective interpretation, refusing to be pinned down to one point of axis. Some of the most famous music in the world relies on simple riffs or melodies, so your point is pretty elusive itself. Sweeping, crude statements never wo
- ...rk sweetheart.
:)
- Say what you want about Shiteus Gein; they’re never going to get anywhere. Shabby, rip-off nonsesnse. and Dougie is a fucking dick.
- Acht. Eveyones entitled to their opinion. Music presses are usually always eejits anyway. Not talented enough to be in bands themselves so they just criticise other peoples for comfort. Sad really. Much like this Eugeine. Get a life, matey. Titus Gein kick arse. Rock needs more bands with a bit of a sense of humour. Whether Dougie is a dick or not is beside the point. Personally, I think he’s a fucking genius.
- I suppose if someone who writes reviews just does not like something it is hard to be positive about it, although in this case I think it is simply a case of ’I don’t get it’. Personally I think this is a great wee E.P. and yes there is a certain amount of cheese about the Gein, and my experience of their live shows are that they are both uplifting, funny and rocking
each to their own indeed.
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