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You’ll recall that festival in the Bahamas which went tits up, when all those rich people had to eat cheese slices and stay in refugee tents?

Well, even if you’d forgotten about last year’s tragicomic Fyre Festival, the courts certainly haven’t, and ahead of serious charges and likely jail time for the organiser, documents emerged yesterday detailing just how messed up the event’s finances were.

Among many eye-catching details, it appears organiser Billy McFarland, who today pleaded guilty for fraud, spunked more than $150,000 on a yacht for headline act Blink-182.

The punchline being, of course, that the band declined to play anyway, claiming they “were not confident that we would have what we need to give you the quality of performances we always give our fans.”

No shit.

Hey @GordonRamsay what would you rate #fyrefestival gourmet meals? pic.twitter.com/SYJIgwAIYp

— Rain Man (@omgRainMan) April 28, 2017

The startling figures also reveal McFarland, described by an anonymous federal source as a “millennial gone wild”, spent around $470,000 on tents, and $260,000 on carpets to go in said tents.

And it wasn’t just the big ticket stuff like fancy yachts for pop-punk icons – all the small things (thank you) mounted up too, not least some $18,208 spent just on towels.

“There was gross mismanagement and a general misunderstanding of how events like this unfold and that purchases weren’t being vetted,” continued the anonymous source, privy to the information we now know looks likely to lead to potentially ten years in prison for McFarland.

“It was just a 20-something who unraveled.”

If, by some miracle, he manages to get away from this total shitshow with his freedom – sentencing takes place in June – Billy McFarland seems like the kind of guy who'll just go ahead and organise another festival anyway.

Say it ain’t so. I will not go.

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