'I know he's got an enormous pair of balls - but it doesn't quite fill the gap'
Will Butler

13:55 28th September 2015

It's a futile thing, taking shots at members of other bands - it just comes off as petty and insecure. What makes for better entertainment is when band members direct their frustration and contempt at other members of their own bands. Talk about shitting where you live.

Then again, it makes sense. If you're contracted to spend almost every waking hour with a group of people who you might not even like, it's totally fair that grievances are going to inevitably be aired. Whether it's over who sleeps in what bunk on the tour bus or the size of certain member's penises - all the garden variety band argument stuff is eventually going to seep out of the circle of trust. 

Sometimes in the form of a song, sometimes in press quotes, by accident or with great malice, here are the most brutal inter-band insults.

  • The Rolling Stones' Keith Richards on Mick Jagger: "Marianne Faithfull had no fun with his tiny todger" - Writing in his 2010 autobiography, Richards completely shattered the illusion of Mick Jagger the sex icon in one devastating blow. This shook up the band's relationship completely and resulted in Jagger demanding an apology before the band could reform for live shows.

  • The Stones Roses' Ian Brown on Reni: "Get all your aggro out on me, I can take it. What can I say, the drummer's a cunt" - During a reunion gig in Amsterdam, The Stone Roses' Reni walked off before the encore warranting this response from singer Brown when the crowd kicked off about the lack of 'I Am The Resurrection'.

  • The Beatles'John Lennon on Paul McCartney: "The sound you make is muzak to my ears / You must have learned something in all those years" - In his song 'How Do You Sleep', Lennon fires the most obvious shots at McCartney as a retaliation tactic following a slight jab Macca made in his track 'Too Many People'. Paul McCartney said that on hearing the diss track, he considered writing a song called 'Very Well, Thank You.'

  • Ice Cube on N.W.A: "While y'all mothafuckers moved straight outta Compton / Living with the Whites, one big house" - After Cube left N.W.A., the remaining members, and manager Jerry Heller, decided to start a flame war with the rapper. This resulted in 'No Vaseline', in which Cube spends five minutes describing the ways that Easy-E and Heller will inevitably inseminate Dre and MC Ren if they don't break off from the group.

  • Guns N Roses' Axl Rose on Slash: "In a nutshell, personally I consider him a cancer and better removed, avoided and the less anyone heard of him or his supporters, the better" - one of the first interviews post-Chinese Democracy, Rose took down any hopes of a full GnR reunion with this gem as well as saying that Slash probably shouldn't have been in band from the beginning.

  • Wu-Tang Clan's Method Man on RZA: "When music can't be music and y'all turning it into something else, fuck that" - Method Man's response to RZA's ambitious and pointless Once Upon A Time In Shaolin album that won't be available to the public for another 88 years. Method Man's harsh words plead for RZA' the Wu-leader' to return to the public sphere' not marketing / acting in Californication.

  • The Game on 50 Cent: "G-Unot" - Admittedly not the most savage of burns, but The Game and 50 Cent's feud is legendary in terms of passive-aggressive negotiations between rappers. A personal favourite is 50 Cent refusing to sit in the front-seat of a car with Game in protest - scorched.

  • Pink Floyd's David Gilmour on Roger Waters: "Roger's a prick" - short and bitter, it's no secret that Pink Floyd's split was less than amicable. David shows no intention to ever speak to Waters ever again with this quote being his reasoning, simple as that.

  • Blur's Graham Coxon on Damon Albarn: "I can't help thinking that Damon is still within a bit of a mad world that Blur were in in 1997 or 1998. Careering headlong into chaos" - After Albarn blamed Coxon for the split of Blur, Graham hit back with an honest slam that appealed to our hearts and our desire for a new Blur album at the time. Thankfully they kissed, made up and The Magic Whip was actually decent.

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Photo: Wenn