Tuesday 25th February 2014 by Edward Keeble

The most terrible and hated songs ever: please no more

These are the songs that should never have been

Toploader - 'Dancing in the Moonlight': Enough to ruin any dinner party, forever linked to Jamie Oliver and immortalized forever as a piece of crap by Chris Morris' Four Lions.

Akon - 'Lonely': We can see why you're lonely mate.

Justin Bieber - 'Baby': While we could laugh all day at the idiocy this track brings to the table, we'd like to ask the question what the hell Ludacris is doing hanging round with a pre-pubescent rapping about girls?

Daniel Powter - 'Bad Day': Awful.

Duck Sauce - 'Barbara Streisand': How this song was even made is a surreal tale of terror. What does Barbara Streisand have to with a poorly produced instrumental? Also what is a Duck Sauce? Never mind.

Billy Ray Cyrus - 'Achy Breaky Heart': The seed of so much evil.

The Black Eyed Peas - 'My Humps': LCD Soundsystem's James Murphy once asked if the Black Eyed Peas 'hated ears'. Here's your answer.

Chumbawamba - 'Tubthumping': It's like drinking a Fosters and headbutting a wall, in the 90s, forever.

Dido - 'White Flag': This is what comas sound like.

Dizzee Rascal & Armand Van Helden - 'Bonkers': The selling-out sound of so many bad student nights.

The Fratellis - 'Chelsea Dagger': Overplayed lad rock tedium.

Good Charlotte - 'Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous': McBusted are more punk than these jokers.

Hoobastank - 'The Reason': The pinnacle of earnest US stadium misery rock.

R.Kelly - 'I Believe I Can Fly': We believed we could fly too when we jumped out of a window when this was No.1 for a whole month. A month!

Journey - 'Don't Stop Believing': It wasn't so bad when it was an 'undiscovered gem', then Glee came along and ruined everyones fun.

One Night Only - 'Just for Tonight':�Cynical indie fodder diarrhoea at the ultimate height of landfill wank. Like a Hollyoaks version of The Kooks.

Kings of Leon - 'Sex on Fire': It always did sound like a painful STI, which is what it quickly became after Guantamo Bay-levels of overplaying.

Maroon 5 feat. Christina Aguilera - 'Moves Like Jagger': It's one of those tracks written by the devil, complete with a melody that will drill through your brain for weeks. A sickly torture with no end.

Mousse T. Vs. Hot 'n' Juicy - 'Horny': An incredibly repetitive song that mimics the effects of a lobotomy and chemical castration all at once.

Nickleback - 'How You Remind Me': Believe it or not this isn't their worst song, however it is their most iconic and regretfully launched their laughably embarrassing career.

Psy - 'Gangnam Style': An advert for the catastrophic dangers of the internet.

Puddle of Mudd - 'She Hates Me': Paper thin angst ridden pandering for the bloke who has just been dumped. Thankfully emo has since been invented for that.

Red Hot Chili Peppers - 'Give It Away': Opinion-splitting funk-fuelled gibberish.

Reef - 'Place Your Hands': This single has been forever damned to the snakebite stained halls of student unions and we pray to god that it stays there.

�Rick Astley - 'Never Gonna Give You Up': Universally lambasted but somehow still on the radio.

Scouting for Girls - 'She's so Lovely': A repetitive T4 On The Beach ad soundtrack aimed at 12-year-old girls. What's not to hate?

Starship - 'We Built This City': The crux of hypocrisy, this horrific ode to the excess of 80s rock is all sell out cash grab, no heart and mainly an insult to the genre as a whole.

Wheatus - 'Teenage Dirtbag': The epitome of the 00's obsession with teenagers . Pop punk without the punk. It wasn't so bad the first time but then it got rinsed to death and became inescapable.

Tenacious D- 'Tribute': About as funny as pulling teeth, it also inspired One Direction's 'Best Song Ever' and therefore deserves to be killed with fire.

The Darkness - 'I Believe in a Thing Called Love': These inexplicably but mercifully briefly popular catsuit-clad chaps were hailed as the saviours of rock and roll, instead this falsetto mess harkened back to the worst excesses of the hair metal decade rock and roll has been trying to forget.

The Kooks - 'Naive': It's not kooky, it's not clever, it's shit.

The Ting Tings - 'That's Not My Name': Someone tell her what her name is before we smash something.

The Black Eyed Peas - 'Boom Boom Pow': More futuristic nonsense from one of the worst groups of all time.

We all hear a song we hate every now and again, then sometimes we hear a song that we really really hate. We hate it with a passion so hard it fills us with fiery vitriol that can not be tamed.

Somehow this song is written so deviously that it contains a formula that will lodge it in your brain where it'll residually play for weeks on end - as if it was written for the sole purpose of making you angry. Then when you've finally dislodged it from your consciousness it gets played on the radio for the billionth time. The torture will never end.

We've all been there, and while music is a largely subjective exploit, there are indeed certain tracks that transcend taste, uniting one and all in glorious hatred. Yet still while all around you might despise this most recent musical abortion it still resides at No.1, mocking you with its baffling success. That is until the next one steps up...