The Twang - 'Jewellery Quarter' (B-Unique) Released 20/07/09

Birmingham has over the years spawned its fair share of culturally significant and genre defining bands. The Twang isn’t one of them. They might have secured a non-specific place amongst the ones to watch sound of 2007 but in actual fact were and still are about as worthwhile as Anne Frank’s drum kit.

In an unsubstantiated fit of media hysteria they were labelled the voice of the Midlands, one to rival Yorkshire’s Arctic Monkeys, their geezer speak and Madchester front marking them out as a band of and for the people. Exactly who the people are still isn’t clear and two years since the release of their debut, The Twang, running on an empty tank of ideas are still lazily regurgitating reclaimed baggy memorabilia without fear of consequence.

‘Jewellery Quarter’ of course refers to Birmingham’s proposed World Heritage Site of the very same name, but as Gerald Ratner knows all too well, all that glitters isn’t gold. Cut through the Spliff ‘n’ Stella façade and it’s a harmless and inoffensive (sympathetic words for dull and bland) album of pointless pop for harmless and inoffensive people, that wallows in dressed up afterthoughts of ifs, buts and maybes with ‘Took The Fun’, ‘Barney Rubble’ and ‘Twit Twoo’ doing little to inspire much at all, let alone empathy.

So far so dross and the search for credibility continues with the Kasabianised ‘Put It On The Dancefloor’ which is neither big nor clever unless you’re a gurning prick who delights in the lyric “this ones gonna blow your socks off” or takes ‘Live The Life’ seriously as a mantra for justifiable existence. OK so it’s not all mock baggy swagger ‘Encouraging Sign’, ‘Back Where We Started’ and ‘Answer My Call’ do bear the hallmarked honesty of teenage adoration; problem is, its designed for twenty-something’s and is sullied by the assumption that the transparently exaggerated vocal emotions will be somehow overlooked and forgiven.

For a band to have never quite reached the dizzying heights expected by and of them, The Twang have fallen spectacularly from grace and ‘Jewellery Quarter’ is a fair indication of why they never got there in the first place and why they never will.