More about: Taylor Swift

It might not be what she set out to do, but when Taylor Swift wrote 'Tell Me Why', she really gave fans a song that exemplifies the toil a toxic and emotionally chaotic relationship has on someone. When just casually reading the lyrics, one could assume it’s about Swift telling off a lover who has put her through the ringer, but when reading between the lines of this song, despite its upbeat sound, every line encapsulates the trauma one feels in a rollercoaster of a relationship.

In conversation with BMR, Swift stated the song was about a guy she never officially dated and how he would say one thing and do another to play mind games with her. What started many writing sessions between Liz Rose and Taylor Swift was Rose always asking Taylor what she would say to the person she was frustrated with - if she could. The line that started the breathless chorus — "I’m sick and tired of your attitude, I feel like I don’t know you" — is the first thing Swift said to Liz, which then eventually turned into the rambling yet succinct chorus that’s in the song now.

The production is frantic and frazzled; you feel like you’re in the storm with Swift as she navigates this tumultuous affair with the person who refuses to commit but insists she jumps through hoops in order to be with him. Although Swift was writing about her own relationship, the beauty of her lyricism is her ability to, again, make things feel universal to every listener’s own experience and be read as something different and not entirely romantic at all. The song can be applied to a myriad of environments and experiences and emotions — feeling scared and powerless when the other person is around (“makes me run for cover when you’re around”), having someone gaslight you and make you question your own thoughts (“I get so confused and frustrated, forget what I’m trying to say”), the constant push-and-pull of getting an ounce of love and then being volatility pushed down (“you tell me that you love me, then cut me down”), and the utter control the other person has on your life that completely consumes you (“why do you have to put down my dreams, til you’re the only thing on my mind?”)

It’s not often Swift discusses intense, heavy issues like emotional abuse in regards to parents or close friends but when she does she cuts to the core, like on 'seven' (“I think your house is haunted, your dad is always mad and that must be why”). 'Tell Me Why' is, in a way, a prequel to 'tolerate it'. When comparing the two sonically, they couldn’t be much different; where 'Tell Me Why' is guitar-driven and in-your-face, 'tolerate it' is subdued and poignant. Much like 'Tell Me Why', 'tolerate it' is a track that explores the struggle of desperately pleading for love from someone who isn’t around, physically or emotionally, to give it to you (“I wait by the door like I'm just a kid/Use my best colours for your portrait/Lay the table with the fancy shit/And watch you tolerate it”).

When scouring the internet for details on 'Tell Me Why', Reddit is full of threads about this song in particular - with casual and devoted fans alike sharing personal, heartbreaking anecdotes about their own experiences with significant others and close loved ones. They tell of how the song gave them the awareness and vocabulary to better understand abuse they suffered. Most importantly, as with all Taylor Swift songs, it also gave them the feeling of not being alone. 

More about: Taylor Swift