More about: Elanor Moss

The Citrus EP is a collection that addresses the tension that arises within yourself when you need to muster the courage to will yourself well again. The protagonist in this collection of tracks is someone teetering on the edge of pulling themselves out of a hard time, resisting ‘getting better’ with force. You go with her through a series of unfortunate events; each one she knows full well is happening, but does anyway. Within that, she is coming to terms with what it means to be a woman in the eyes of society, the beautiful and the cruel aspects of that. 

On 'Lunar', the “morning comes and I feel so sober”, filled with regret for doing something you know will hurt you. On 'Sober,  “I want to drink til I’m too drunk to think, 'cause I know you’re somewhere not thinking of me”. On 'Soundings', “give me a reason that I can’t pretend that this café bar glistens with a life that I crave/and my body was made for more than I’m giving it”: a woman who takes the poison despite the label, avoiding going to bed so she doesn’t have to face the morning. A sombre reflection in 'Citrus': “His hands on me I hit the floor, I tried to leave you blocked the door, my friends they ask if all is well, I told them that I tripped and fell. I love him with a vengeance see, his arms are like a sanctuary.” Despite all he's done, she covers for him. You don’t get the impression she’s going to leave him.  

But this is not a hopeless record, not at all. They’re reflections from the other side, and recorded from a place of empathy, strength and kindness towards a bruised past self. 

The beautiful thing about songwriting is that listeners can imbue their own meaning into songs. They become whatever the listener knows them to be. However, if you find it useful, below are my notes on the record.

'Sober'

Like 'Soundings', 'Sober' is a song about reliance on distractions to numb things out. Relationships can be as addictive as any substance, and damaging as a result. 'Sober' is a song about trying to leave, and how you can become addicted to the pain of a thing. 

Ultimately, it's a reflection on how hard it is to "get sober" from someone you loved, especially if the relationship was damaging and toxic. 

'Lunar'

This is a song about apathy. When you jump out of the driver’s seat and into the passenger’s, and just kind of let things happen. When you act from that kind of place you more often than not end up regretting it. 

I didn’t actually write this from a place of reflection on my own life—I saw a situation a friend was in and wrote about that. But then when I finished writing it I was like: “oh! I’ve done that more times than I can count!” 

My dear friend Harry Orme plays second guitar on this song. The takes we used were from a home demo that we ended up keeping because we liked the vibe, and I think it adds a kind of intimacy to the recording.

'Soundings'

I was really drawn to the verb “sounding” when I came up with this loping melody with all its long drawn out notes. It means “to measure the depth of a b". "Sounding the depths of this whisky jar,” but also sounding the depths of your own unhappiness. That’s why the track is called 'Soundings'. I hope it captures the tension of someone knowing they’re being avoidant and putting off their healing, but taking the poison anyway. 

'Citrus'

'Citrus' is the oldest song on the record, and also the heart of the thing. I was in therapy recovering from a deeply damaging moment in my life, and I wrote the whole thing in one sitting after finishing a session one day. 

Taking Citrus on stage with me and performing it was a huge part of my healing process. To have that moment of honesty, that confession in front of an audience; it helped me take ownership over the contents of the song. Recording it did too. I hope that for anyone who relates to it, listening to it can become part of theirs in some way.

'Siren Song'

I wanted to write a sea shanty from the perspective of a siren, this is what came out.

This wasn't meant to end up on the record. It's a voice note taken on my phone in the back of my old workplace in Leeds—it had really cool acoustics and I wanted to show my producer Oli how it sounded. Later we added the bowed electric guitars that we recorded for 'Citrus' and added it as a closer.

Citrus EP is out now.

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More about: Elanor Moss