More about: Glastonbury Festival

‘Ladies and gentlemen of the class of ’23: Wear Sunscreen. If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis other than my own meandering experience.’

So, it’s June and to a certain section of society that means one thing: Glastonbury Festival Of Contemporary Performing Arts is nearly here. So, it’s time to get serious. Shit, as they say, is getting real. 

If you're a first timer heading to the farm, you're probably pretty stressed right now. Staring down the barrel of a 5-day long sensory overload, trying to figure out what you actually need or should know amongst all the noise of advice and tips is hard.

We've been there. Gigwise has been covering Glasto since 2004; so we're seasoned! We've got our packing down to a fine craft and have the best tips in our back pocket. So take a deep breath and lets dive into the Gigwise Beginners Guide To Glastonbury...

Firstly, pre-festival preparation (or Stresstival) is imperative. Here’s what you should be doing over the next fortnight:

What To Pack

• Make a list - Get the basics down (wellies, booze, tent) down first, then as things enter your head (‘I must take fake moustache,’) pop them on the list as soon as you can.
  
  
• Ignore the weather until the last possible point, i.e., when you’re packin - As we know, UK weather can be unpredictable and inaccurate, so there’s no point in packing 10 pairs of trainer socks if it’s going to chucking it down all weekend. 
  • That said, make a judgement. If there’s no rain in Pilton the week before the forecast, and nothing major forecast for the first 3 days, you can PROBABLY leave the wellies at home (unless it’s going to be biblical over the weekend). Wellies are cumbersome and should only be worn when necessary. You may have spent £75 on a pair of flash wellies but if it’s 30 degrees you’ll a) be very uncomfortable and b) look like a prick. So, be prepared for all weather but choose wisely. You’re there for 5 days and there’s only so much you can carry.
    

• Food - Breakfast bars are your friend, as are Pringles. Anything other than that you can buy at the festival. Unless you’re on a budget, then pack your bag with snacks and forget the clothes. Who really cares if you’re wearing the same pants for 3 days? If you’re driving, fill your (car) boots and take some sort of trolley, if you can. Once you're there, head to the Hare Krishna tent where the free food flows all weekend...
  
  
• Take a good rucksack to carry your booze (and other boring stuff like a hat, toilet roll, etc) each day, unless you’re a flash harry and plan to drink from the bar only. Wine bags are particularly suitable. Remember, no glass allowed. But ALWAYS carry toilet paper.

Pitching Up

• When you can, tune into Worthy FM to fully get into the Glastonbury vibe while you battle with your tent.
  
  
• Whatever you do, do not camp at the bottom of a hill or on a slope. At best (sun) you’ll have people rolling/falling onto your tent, at worst (rain) you’ll be either in or near a puddle.
  
  
• Once your tent is up, make a mental note of landmarks such as flags (they really are everywhere). Glastonbury IS as big as everyone says, and you don’t want to get lost or enter the wrong tent. Despite the love and peace vibes, most people don’t like that. Even better - if signal or battery isn’t an issue (fat chance) - then use What3Words.

The First Can Has Been Opened!

• Wednesday night - Keep an eye out for the fireworks, or the Opening Ceremony as it’s become known. You may even want to go up the Glastonbury sign on the first night to get a great view of sunset before the fireworks. Either way, the fireworks mean the party has really started, and days of mischief and madness await.
  
  
• Thursday - Thursday has some music (although the William’s Green tent is no more, RIP) but you should use the day to get to know the site. In truth, this is a fool’s errand as you won’t cover everything in a day and there’s just too much to remember. But cover as much as you can while you’ve still got the energy and the headspace.

The Festival Beings

• One tip, go with the flow - After two days, the Festival really starts, as your scrutiny and intense study of the line-up (if you can remember that far back) really begins to pay off. BUT! Even with that in mind, don’t chase acts. There’s just so much to see, you can sleep when you get home. Generally, you will be able to see the acts at other points in the year. Stick to 2-3 MUST SEE acts per day and let the festival happen to you. You’ll never know what you’ll find. 

Choose Wisely

• Pick One - If you want to watch someone at the Pyramid who finishes 5 minutes before someone starts up at The Park, forget it. Even half and half is optimistic. Choose one and make your peace with your choice.
  
  
• Get there early - Similarly, if you’re aiming to see the Legends slot, get there early and be prepared to forget anything else for a couple of hours afterwards.
  
  
• Headliners are worth it - If you can, try and watch one Pyramid headliner. The way things are going, you’ll have a better chance of winning the Lottery than getting a ticket again, so it may be your only chance. The Pyramid crowd in full voice can be a life-changing experience and, while the other stages are great, El Pointo is iconic. 
  
  
• Meeting points! - There’s nothing more frustrating than trying to call someone to meet them so, IF YOU CAN, arrange a meeting point for each stage as early as possible. If you’re not, then try and stand somewhere different each time you visit a stage because, y’know, life is short.
  
  
• Think of your stomach... - There are so many food options but choose wisely. Is curried food a wise move if you’re drinking Thatchers all day? Hint: no.

Follow Your Ears

• You may discover your new favourite artist in some far-off places, like the Crow’s Nest (another must if you can stomach the hill).
  
  
• Brave the late night - Go to Arcadia and Shangri-La at least once after the headliners have finished. Both can get congested but are worth the wait, but if you’re not fussed about any headliner on any stage (unlikely) then head there early before thousands of other people. You can also go to either during the day, but it’s at night when they come alive. Shangri-La is a wretched hive of scum and villainy with surprises to be found (Maneskin flew in last year for a special secret performance) around every corner.
  
  
• Talk to strangers - Everyone approaches the festival in the same spirit which is impossible not to be intoxicated by. And you never know who you might meet.

This is the experience of a grizzled Glastonbury goer, but everyone’s experience should be, and is, unique. If you want to spend the entire weekend at La Pussy Parlare then don’t let anyone stop you. But trust me on the sunscreen...

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More about: Glastonbury Festival