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“Thee Unstrung are a bunch of pricks,” says Maya and the others agree. “No, wait, they’re a bunch of girls!” While playing at On The Rocks in London the Dolls experienced the kind of male chauvinism that drove them to form a (nearly) all girl band in the first place. “The guys were being such prima donnas, hogging the sound check, being stroppy arseholes, refusing to let Pato use their bass amp even though it had been arranged like weeks before. Then, after being twats, they tried to score with us!” The cheek! “I wasn’t wearing a bra,” continues Maya, a wardrobe choice she clearly seems to favour, “They were being really puerile, saying: “Show us your tits! Show us your tits!” So I flashed them while their backs were turned, and that really pissed them off!” “I stole their tambourine though,” says Pato, “You can tell them that!” “Yeah!” says Ana, “tell them if they want it back they’ve got to come and get it!!” “Tell them I puked it in too!!” laughs Pato. I assure them that the next time I bump into Thee Unstrung playing darts down my local I’ll let them know…“But we really like a lot of bands, “ they chorus, “We’re not really into slagging people off.” Big fans of Special Needs, Client, The Paddingtons, The Caswells, Swedish band The Knife, Vincent and The Villians and The Rapture, they also hold a special place in their hearts for Selfish Cunt. “He is such a lovely guy!!” they say. Maya explains: “He came to what must have been our worst gig ever – it was so bad our manager threatened to leave! – and the crowd completely didn’t get it, but he was going wild in the middle! Then he asked us to support him tour and just generally helped us out a lot.”
But what of the Soho Dolls themselves? You may have heard their single on Poptones, a label they have since decided to part with, ‘Prince Harry,’ which grazed the Top 40, but pinning a description on them is like trying to pin the tail on a live, cocaine-fuelled donkey with ADD. “Dirty, breathy, electro punk” reads Toni from the flyer. “No, pas breathy!” “Yeah not punk either.” “We’re more smelly, than breathy…try burpy or farty,” jokes Pato. “Electro–rock-punk-dance-disco,” it says here reads Maya. “That’s ok,” says Ana, half as a question. “Yeah but we’re not so much electro as we have live bass and guitar. The thing is we wouldn’t describe ourselves at all,” explains singer Maya.
“Basically I found Pato by putting up an advert for a female bassist and listing a load of influences – Soft Cell, Kraftwerk, Peaches.” “Did you see anyone else?” asks Keyboardist Ana, who joined the band nearly 2 years ago after the original keyboardist left. “Yeah there was one girl before Pato,” says Maya, “but she was crap – had teeth like a horse.” “Was she a good bassist?” “We didn’t get that far.” Maya was fed up with being in bands where she was the only girl and the problems that caused, most notably with jealousy from the girlfriends of band members. Seeing her on stage later as she writhed, bra-less, on the floor made me realise why. For both Ana and Pato this is also the first time they’ve been in a band with other girls, but even that doesn’t get rid of the problem. “We’re not some kind of freak show, just because we’ve got girls in the band,” Maya explains. “Our manager organised this gig with all girl bands – The Priscillas, The Dirty Burds – and we refused to play and he was really pissed off. Then The Dirty Burds got on stage and we were like “What the fuck is this!? What the fuck is this!? Where’s the fucking men!!?” and he was really embarrassed.” (Funnily enough, I met The Priscillas several months ago and they told me exactly the same story.) Toni joining the band was kind of an accident. “Yeah he was meant to be the driver! But then we learned he played guitar and we thought he should join.” That was 4 months ago. Having previously been in Maluka, who supported Gary Newman, and guitarist for All About Eve, Toni has played in every sized venue going. “I’ve played toilets, and pubs, stadiums, concert halls. But this is definitely the best band I’ve been in.” This last phrase initiates a big group hug, limited only by the size of their hangovers, and not captured for posterity as somebody left their camera battery at home on the charger.
They have too many rock n’roll stories: Toni getting paranoid in an Italian airport after a long weekend playing gigs, doing radio interviews, getting touched up by presenters and being permanently pissed. He was concerned about ‘substances’ in their bags, and when they got stopped at customs he feared it was anal probe time. “When you’ve been on the piss all weekend the last thing you want on a Sunday night is to be anally probed.” Well quite. Turned out he’d forgotten to take knife out of his guitar case. As you do. Pato walked through with said ‘substance’ in her pocket. As you do: if you’re a Soho Doll. Germany is going to have to watch out, as will we when they get back when work begins on further recordings and releases and rampant drinking.
