This week, the New York Post published a story on Kanye West’s wedding to Kim Kardashian. It was 55 words. The paper’s editors clearly made the sensible decision that the wedding of a “sex-tape star” and an “egotist” was not worth the death of more than one tree.
Inspired by the New York Post’s admirable succinctness, we’ve attempted to sum up some of the biggest music news stories in music in 55 words. It turns out, that’s all you really need...
GLASTONBURY TAKES PLACE
People across the country stood in a field and listened to some bands in Somerset this month.
Arcade Fire, Kasabian and Metallica headlined, with all of the bands singing several songs and playing instruments, often at the same time.
Michael Eavis, the founder of Glastonbury, said in a statement: “The festival was good.”
It rained.
BEYONCE RELEASES ALBUM
Beyonce has released a new album without telling anyone about it beforehand. The album is called Beyonce.
Beyonce (the album), which contains 14 tracks, has caused the world to go into meltdown.
When she was asked about the album’s message, Beyonce (the singer) said: “Enjoy your life, it’s short. I have a lot of awards.”
THE LIBERTINES TO DO A GIG
The Libertines are to reunite in Hyde Park.
The band split up in 2004, got back together in 2010, then split up again. The reasons were mainly drugs.
Despite their differences, The Libertines were willing to reform this year due to a yearning for the incomparable buzz from playing live, and half a million pounds.
ARCTIC MONKEYS ALSO PLAY A GIG
Arctic Monkeys played two huge gigs at Finsbury Park.
The band played a career spanning set, which included songs with very long names, like ‘Why’d You Only Call Me When You’re High’.
The gig was described by one fan as “good”, and another as “okay.”
“Fucking hell”, said Alex Turner. The band are from Sheffield.
PRINCE PLAYS SEVERAL GIGS
Prince played a series of surprise gigs in London.
The artist, who was formerly known as Prince and is still known as Prince, played gigs across the capital.
One woman cancelled a holiday to attend: “I was going to visit a close friend. I had to tell her ‘Please understand.’”
The two are no longer friends.