A record label is up for sale on Craigslist, seriously

Forget all of the legwork and get yourself a fully functioning record label right now

James Moore

14:52 16th October 2015

We kid you not. A Candian record label is giving somebody the opportunity to bypass all of the music industry bullshit and purchase a fully fledged record label right now.

Canadian imprint Handshake Inc is described as a fully functioning business ideal for “hobbyists, pros, and any goal oriented people who still maintain a sense of hope and wonder about the music industry,” (the owner doesn't sound bitter at all...) and you can own it for $5,000.

If you buy the 'underground metal and noise' label now on Craigslist, you'd be purchasing their entire back catalogue of EPs, LPs, DVDs and a book, as well as “North American and International distribution, digital royalties, press contacts, remaining stock (vinyl, dvds), 2k Twitter followers and 2k Facebook likes." Not too shabby.

Speaking with Exclaim, label owner David Hall confirmed the sale and explained his next move. "I'm starting a new company to continue making films and videos."

Hall founded the Handshake Inc. enterprise in 2006 and was joined in 2011 by Catharsis PR person Kim Kelly and Agoraphobic Nosebleed frontman Jay Randall. The label has issued material by artists including Fuck the Facts (perferably not in a court of law), Rwake, Orthrelm's Mick Barr, Gridlink, Blacklisters, Pyrrhon and more. They've also delivered three storming instalments of the Maryland Deathfest: The Movie series.

If you're a fan of death metal bands with names like Eyehategod, Church Of Misery and The Devil's Blood, then check out the trailer for Deathfest: The Movie III below (and maybe buy yourself a record label?)

Britney Spears' farts: Perhaps one of the weirdest and most disgusting pieces that has ever been up for sale on eBay, a seller opened a bidding war for tupperware box preserving Britney's noxious gases. In the end it sold for $2,700
Elvis' hair: The iconic rock and roll legend has had clippings of his hair sold numerous times to bizarre fans, most recently by hairdresser Homer Gilleland who sold the parts of Elvis he'd preserved for $4,160.
John Lennon's tooth: This rather odd piece of Beatles memorabilia was bought by the even stranger Dr. Michael Zuk for $23,000 with the intention of cloning Lennon before 2040.
Justin Timberlake's half eaten french toast: After NSync appeared on Z1000 in 2000, the station auctioned the item along with the fork and maple syrup that accompanied the now mouldy piece of partially chewed toast, it sold for $1,025 to a 19-year-old N Sync fan. Tasty.
William Shatner's kidney stone: If you ever wanted a little piece of captain Kirk to yourself then your dreams have come true as this arther painful memoir, removed by his doctor for being to big sold for $25,000.
Britney Spears' hair: After her breakdown an enterprising individual got their hands on the lost locks attempting to sell them on eBay who promptly shut down the bidding war due to its apparent policy of not selling human body parts.
Michael Jackson's underwear: With a reserve of $1,000,000 (sounds reasonable) these possibly stolen briefs belonging to Michael Jackson would complete the decor of a collectors home, that is if he is brave enough to stick them on his mantelpiece.
Lady Gaga's fake nail: This discarded piece of Gaga sold for $12,000 after being picked up by an enterprising member of the Aviva stadium in Dublin where a date of the Born This Way tour took place.
Suge Knight's underwear: This piece of unwashed clothing worn by gangster hip-hop mogul Suge Knight, went up for auction following the liquidation of Death Row records. They sold for $1, dropped from an asking price of $5.
MK's unwashed towel: Horrendous damp sweat rags are a must have for the kind of psycho whose shopping list includes any of the items on this list. At the moment the auction stands at 8,299 quid with four days to go.

Photo: Press