Tuesday 14/02/06 Goldie Lookin' Chain @ Carling Academy, Liverpool

With the nation suffering from the sweats and the shakes as Celebrity Big Brother fades to but a distant, joyous memory, the unsung star of the nuthouse, Mr Maggot, does his bit to ease our withdrawal by bringing us some hip-dipping mega chooons and a class act once again from the self proclaimed “safe as fuck” ‘Chain.

It’s impossible to take the 8-strong stoner gaggle who appear before us seriously, as they strut and stroll around the stage, gormlessly waving their arms in un-coordinated directions – but why, oh why, would you WANT to take them seriously?  The point of the Goldie Lookin Chain, surely, is pure amusement, an ironic statement of sorts – and yet, as they entertain the packed crowd with songs about their favourite things – sex and weed – real talent is boldly evident and completely unpretentious.   Their half-baked state left them with a curious amount of energy – enabling them to carry out what looked harder than the most strenuous of gym workouts whilst wapping away under whizzy purple and green mood lighting.  Now we know that their trademark tracksuits and sweatbands are not just this season’s must-haves, but also serve a highly practical function for Newport’s finest. 

Mega hit ‘Guns Don’t Kill People, Rapper’s Do’ was clearly the show stopper of the night, but equally hilarious ’21 Ounces’, ‘Short Term Memory’ and ‘Plenty Of Ways To Make Cash’ sparked enthusiastic responses from the bling-ed up, only partially ironic crowd. Frequently ordering us to get our “rave on”, the lads only crooner number of the night was the mickey take “R&B” – which served as quite a convincing boy band turn and could maybe take the band in a whole new direction … The atmosphere radiated from the stage and everyone was definitely feeling the GLC love – even their intermittent commentaries on sex and personal hygiene didn’t seem all that outrageous – more endearing almost.  The cheeky Welsh wappers exude charisma and are so naturally hilarious that the entire gig was a pure joy to experience, if a slightly warped one…SAFE.