More about: Self Esteem

Rebecca Lucy Taylor always wanted to be a popstar.

I first became aware of the singer-songwriter about a decade ago now, when she was one half of indie-pop duo Slow Club, along with Charles Watson. The pair released four excellent studio albums over a period of eight years, but Taylor was dissatisfied. While Watson was happy to continue to be appreciated by a small but dedicated community of indie fans, Taylor wanted more. Her frustrations during Slow Club’s final tour were depicted in the documentary Our Most Brilliant Friends – and then in 2017, the band split. 

And now she’s a popstar. Her ex-bandmate Watson recently supported Andrew Bird at Shepherd’s Bush Empire – she has meanwhile just headlined a trio of shows at the Hammersmith Apollo. From the outside, it seems like both parties are finally happy with their lot. 

Taylor’s Hammersmith show on 17th March was part of an extended tour in support of her latest blockbuster album, Prioritise Pleasure. The show features razzle-dazzling lights, a series of spectacular costume changes, and a trio of backing dancers. It’s a far cry from the atmosphere at Slow Club’s concerts. 

Somehow though, even as she settles into this newfound pop-stardom, Taylor sits at odds with her contemporaries. Like every other main pop girly out there, she offers up a spectacle, but it’s a new kind of spectacle. Her music has been widely praised for its feminist themes and its potential to inspire - and this is reflected in the demography of Taylor’s audience, most of whom are young women, and all of whom are captivated not just by her musicianship but also by her politics. 

"Rebecca Lucy Taylor is an earnest performer who says what she means and means what she says."

At several times throughout the show, she poses like a classical statue for a sustained period at the end of a song. In the centre of the stage is a staircase, which she regularly ascends, purely for the purpose of soaking up the rapturous applause. It’s tempting at first to think of her as a pseudo-messianic figure, but I think she’s something different. 

During the show, I thought about some other musicians who’ve managed to bring together communities based on a political promise. The 1975’s ground-breaking recent tour was an inspiring interrogation of modern masculinity, but it was all wrapped in irony and meta-theatrics, and there’s none of that navel-gazing here. Rebecca Lucy Taylor is an earnest performer who says what she means and means what she says. 

Elsewhere, Yungblud is clearly seen as a spiritual leader by his fans, but he’s a charlatan whose gigs are punctuated by protracted but ideologically empty political rants. Taylor on the other hand barely talks for the entire show. She says “Hello, London” at the start, thanks her band in the middle, then says “ta-ra” at the end. Otherwise, she lets the music speak for itself. 

And speak for itself it does. Across the course of an hour and a bit, she takes us on a whistle-stop-tour of tracks of almost every song from Prioritise Pleasure, as well as a couple of tracks from her debut Compliments Please, plus two new songs. And throughout, Taylor feels less dictator and more elected representative. It feels as though she’s speaking for everybody in the room. 

I’ve never seen the house lights turned on so many times during a gig. Again and again, the entire audience is illuminated. It takes my eyes a few moments to adjust, and then I realise – this is Rebecca’s way of telling us that this show is for us. It was for every woman who’s ever been terrified of walking home, every person who’s walked away from a relationship because it just got too hard, everyone with a habit of sending “those long paragraph texts”. Every good, sturdy girl. 

"...she goes beyond popstar and becomes a self-love facilitator."

During the song ‘Moody’, the lights come up for the line “We know we’re attractive” and Rebecca reaches out to us, encouraging us to say it and believe it. And even I – a transgender woman not only battling with crippling gender dysphoria but also having a bad hair day – do. For that moment, she goes beyond popstar and becomes a self-love facilitator. 

And this I think is where her moniker comes in. I’d once dismissed ‘Self Esteem’ as a clunky and forgettable artist name. But seeing her live I finally understood. This is Rebecca Lucy Taylor’s show no doubt, but self-esteem is its mission. Not just for Taylor, but for everybody. 

All of this having been said, I’m conscious of also highlighting the musicianship on show here. Taylor’s live vocals are impeccable and her band set-up of drummer, bassist and backing track (which can often feel lifeless and flat) feels truly dynamic. Her backing dancers double up as backing singers, doing justice to the rich harmonies on her albums.  

The show serves as a reminder of the quality of Taylor’s song-writing too. Every track is a winner – including the new stuff. One song consists of a dance-pop beat over which she incants “I am not your mother, I am not your mum” and the other is an electro-pop banger that evokes Charli XCX or Gaga’s Chromatica. Both songs represent something of a musical departure for Taylor, and a sign that we won’t be seeing Self Esteem resting on her laurels any time soon. 

In a brief break from the bombast, she plays ‘John Elton’ without her band or backing singers, accompanying herself on the guitar. She doesn’t ask for silence, but instinctively the audience provides it. For a few minutes I’m reminded of her roots and wowed once again by her versatility. 

The main set finishes with ‘I Do This All The Time’, the song that propelled Rebecca into mainstream success. Its spoken word vocals don’t make for the most natural singalong, but the dedicated crowd is determined to make it work. One line in particular is bellowed like a football chant: “Getting married isn’t the biggest day of your life – all the days that you get to have are big”. When I leave, I see it emblazoned on t-shirts at the merch stand.

"Rebecca Lucy Taylor always wanted to be a popstar, and now – thanks to Self Esteem – we all get to be one."

The three encore songs are wisely chosen – album opener ‘I’m Fine’ arrives as an emblem of Taylor’s entire ethos, and then she plays 2019 single ‘The Best’ and is accompanied on stage by actual, real-life, genuine Mr Blobby. In the last 12 months I’ve witnessed Taylor Swift making surprise cameos at two gigs and this usurps both of those occasions. I turn to the friend I’ve brought and she’s crying happy tears. Blobby Blobby Blobby. 

She ends with the relatively subdued ‘Still Reigning’, which at first I think is an odd choice, but its refrain “The love you need is gentle, the love you need is kind” is a fitting mantra to close the show. Rebecca and her backing singers group-hug, then group-hug again, then group-hug again. It’s a display of the sort of love – gentle, kind love – that exists between women. I’m reminded of my own female friendships, and catch Self Esteem doing what she does best again – holding up a mirror to her audience. 

And in the end, that’s the remarkable thing about her. Rebecca Lucy Taylor always wanted to be a popstar, and now – thanks to Self Esteem – we all get to be one.

See the view from the pit, captured by Mattia Ghisolfi:

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More about: Self Esteem