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Fuck Glasto. Coachella is the greatest festival in the world. Let the convincing begin:
We start this epic journey in the Mojave tent, which is very much like the New Band (John Peel) tent at Glasto, but with lush grass beneath your feet, an open back so you can see the mountains in the hazy background and the palm trees gently swaying in the desert wind. A separate area for people who like to drink (whisper it) alcohol creates an atmosphere free from rowdy, violent chavs and Man City fans. Its far too lovely for our first band...
Sexy Magazines are your typical Strokes-alike group with one small difference. Each member actually looks like they have been cloned from The Strokes, except the experiment went wrong and they turned out not so pretty. Nevertheless, SM produce high energy rock songs capable of inducing mass head-nodding and the occasional shuffle of obligatory Converse amongst the sun burnt crowd of Californians. A lead singer who clambers up speaker stacks, crowd surfs to slow songs and swings his mic like the Class of '77, you can't begrudge them the applause they get. They certainly work for it, but there is a feeling that this sort of thing would not quite wash with the cynical British crowd. Ah well, its lucky we are in the middle of the desert then isn't it?
A brief respite and then a semi-jog over to the Coachella stage, which is the equivalent of the main stage anywhere else. It too has no back to it, which is handy when you want to spot the liggers/celebrities trying to look cool in the blistering heat. One man that does a good job of convincing us he is not cool is Buck 65. Nope, he is not 'cool' but that adds to the charm of his performance. Today he takes a self-deprecating role, regaling us with stories between (and during) songs of each and every bad thing that has happened in his life. "My dad said he had a dream about a flaming skeleton on a motorcycle and this is a song about it..." he shouts into an already loud mic. You see, with Buck 65, it is not always just about the song. The song is the pay off; but the important bit is the journey towards the song... or so he would have you believe. Like a VH1 Storytellers Special, each eclectic tune is accompanied with a story of conception and deception and probably a few more things if you could ever understand his accent. "I was walking down the street and a guy came up to me and said HEY YOU ARE A PUNKASS WHITE RAPPER...and this is a song about it..." he tells us as he fiddles with knobs and things unseen until what at first sounds like a DJ Scotch Egg song, turns into a beautifully melodic bass and breakbeat. There comes a point in watching him today when you have to decide which to pay more attention to; The Music or The Lyrics. It is very difficult to try and tackle them at the same time as there is just too much to take in. From start to finish, Buck 65 is a class act which spans most genres and hearts. Sweet.
We dont have to go far to watch the next band. The Raveonettes take to the stage shortly after and they look like they mean business. With an album (Pretty in Black) just released, this is the forum to gain maximum exposure in very little time. Can they do it? The answer most emphatically is: YES INDEED. The Raveonettes dont just play the Coachella stage, they OWN the Coachella stage. From the first time you set eyes upon Sune (dressed in Vader black) and Sharin (dressed in 50's style powder blue dress and sunglasses) you can just tell they are Denmark's hottest export since Hans Christian Anderson decided that he might want to take up writing children's stories for a living. Song after song after marvelous song appears and though very early in their career, you get the feeling that they could almost pull off a greatest hits set. You actually forget just how many great songs they have until its rammed down your throat by a fuzzy bassline, harmonic-oxymoronic-polyphonic vocals and a stage presence that leaves you gasping for breath. Classics such as 'Attack of the Ghost Riders', 'That Great Love Sound', 'Chain Gang of Love' sit comfortably alongside new songs such as the Motown influenced 'Duet' with Ronnie Spector 'Ode to LA'. This particular song is the highlight of their set, as though Ronnie Spector could not be there to perform herself, the second Sharin steps back from the mic and Ronnie's voice oscillates through the speakers, you know that it's a surefire gem in the making. How can you not adore The Raveonettes? Seriously.
No time to stop though, as those pesky French post-rock pretenders M83 are on the GOBI stage. The GOBI stage is pretty much like the Mojave stage but for some reason feels cooler. It's more of a vibe thing than a cosmetic attribute, but it certainly helps to put everyone in the mood for some serious instrumental action. If 65DaysofStatic watch 3 episodes of rubbish 80's sitcom 'Allo Allo' while writing the new album, it would probably end up sounding like this. Don't get the wrong idea, this is a compliment! M83 have the ability to erase any prejudice you may have against the French (football/world wars) and replace it with sheer adoration at being pioneers of the genre. Its hard to imagine these geeky guys up on stage, surrounded by screaming, tanned, beautiful people, can actually make their instruments sing like fallen angels, but with typical French arrogance (xenophobia noted) they pull it off like the Anti-Phoenix. Amazing, Amazing, Amazing.
13, 14, 15... people cover their ears as they hurry past the Coachella Stage (where Snow Patrol are "playing") in order to reach the best stage of all; the Outdoor Theatre Stage. If the Colosseum in Rome was built out of Scaffolding and digital screens, it would probably still look nothing like this stage... but you get the picture right? Who is playing right now on this beautiful platform? Well none other than current British rock darling Razorlight! For all their detractors, no one can deny Razorlight have some well constructed catchy songs. Gigwise finds ourselves actually singing along (and knowing every word) to each song, accompanied by a chorus of good looking teenagers who consider Mr Borrell a deity. Jonny acts on this and camps it up for all and sundry, making sure to take note of where each and every photographer is during the particularly angsty moments. There is nothing like seeing your face in a magazine above the words 'Misguided Soul' or 'Afflicted' or anything else that alludes to you being misunderstood. Those Americans love it dont they?! Thumbs up to the boys though, they put on an entertaining performance, justifying all the good press they have been getting across the Atlantic.
As the sun burns a layer of skin away, pushing us one step closer to cancer; Rilo Kiley cautiously step onto the recently vacated Outdoor Theatre platform. Cautiously, as they dither back and forth a few times before finally taking their places. They are introduced by some guy who was in Napoleon Dynamite apparently, and a catchphrase is uttered, much to the delight of the people who didnt look confused. "Get off the stage" is shouted by a slightly rowdy party to the left, and when he does he is more than adequately replaced by the lovely Jenny. As most Rilo Kiley fans know (especially the male quota), Jenny has the tendency to wear very very short skirts onstage, and if you one of those type of people who might enjoy that, then you stand below her at stage left. Gigwise aren't those sorts of persons so we stand in the middle... anyhow you can see it better from here when she sits down to play the keyboard... Here in Britain we do not appreciate just how good this band is. I am told by a good source that their British mailing list consists of only 50 people. Disgraceful. Our loss is America's gain, as Rilo Kiley's popularity ensures the majority of Coachella-goers know the songs and can sing it back semi-pitch perfect to reflect just how much they are loved. Just how gorgeous is 'Does He Love You' and 'It's A Hit'? Very is the answer to that easy question. 'Portions For Foxes' must be considerer as one of the best all-out pop songs of the 21st century and those who deny have hearts of jagged stone. The day will come when British crowds will admire RK as much as our Transatlantic buddies, but until that day comes we will forever be branded as Stereophonics lovers.
Gigwise catches the end of Wilco (if only) and still does not understand why so many people lay down their ears for this band. They wouldn't know a chorus if it was put between two slices of bread, covered in chorus-flavoured marmalade, and shoved down their throats with a glove that clearly states on the knuckles 'CHORUS'. Let's not dwell on such matters and move onto the bands that matter. Weezer for instance. Secretly Weezer is the group most people have travelled into the middle of nowhere for. You can tell this by the sheer number of girls and guys wearing Weezer merch. '=W=' hats, 'Weezer Fan (Blue Album)' T-Shirts to name but a few. Yes, every kid in America who has ever been picked on is here, ready to take new instructions from their geek-master, Rivers Cuomo. It's well documented that Rivers has just spent the last few years in Harvard, getting the best education his royalties from Pinkerton could afford. If he had used his royalites from Maladroit he probably would have had to learn everything from Sesame Street DVDs. How has this new found knowledge benefited Weezer? Well there is no better way to guage this than to listen to the new album 'Make Believe', which the overhead plane is admirably advertising at a cost of $2000 every 15 minute flyover. The new songs pepper the set, careful not to lump too many together, so as not to create a lull, because frankly it's not the best Weezer album in the world. Stand out songs in the set are mostly old classics such as 'Buddy Holly', 'Sweater Song' and evergreen 'Say It Ain't So'. So basically The Blue Album then. Hopefully a future single, 'This Is Such A Pity', stands out among the newies as potential classic status. With its 80's stabbing synths and a chorus that more that rips off Band Aid's 'Feed the World', its one singalong moment among many in this almost flawless set. One day, when Rivers is President of USA, we will be able to wake up knowing our planet is protected by a feelgood songwriting genius with a penchant for Japanese girls and everything will be ok. Until that day, we will clutch the new album close to our hearts and await the signal.
Clashes ahoy, as the entire festival runs over to catch the last few songs in the Secret Machines set in the Mojave tent. Yes, people seem to enjoy the rather stereotypical moody Velvet Underground vibe they are giving off, but the real reason so many people are here right now is because of Bloc Party. Throughout the day, overheard conversations normally consisted of, "Yah we will see whoever up and til that time... maybe get a drink... get a bite to eat... then definitely meet you for Bloc Party!" It seems The Hype Machine® has been working round the clock for our London friends. Fair play really, you write a perfect album, you get a perfect review. Its a good trade, and one that certainly has not gone unnoticed. Squashed between canvas and cameras, the lucky onlookers bear witness to the sound of right now. "This is a song about sex" Kelle screams in an ever so camp manner as he introduces 'Banquet'. People cheer, not knowing that he doesn't mean Heterosexual sex, because if they did, those Californians might just make excuses and leave. Thats what Bloc Party is about; twisted love songs you can dance to whilst in the back of your mind you are plotting a revolution. The band look cramped onstage, but judder and sway their way through the set, punctuated by Kelle's breathless song introductions. This is the point Bloc Party were at this time last year in the UK. Lots of pess, but not enough gigs under their belt to warrant a full on lovefest. Now, after dominating the UK's charts and hearts, its the USA's turn and it looks almost effortless. There is a mythology surrounding the boys across the Atlantic, and it would take a fuck-up of major proportions to even put a slight dent in the ship of World Domination. Oh sorry, forgot to mention their hair looked nice. All sorted.
What can we say about Coldplay that hasn't been said before? They resemble nocturnal furred-animals is our only attempt at something original, because you see, Coldplay are a band thats vy hard to say anything bad about. The sole reason for this is that they write the most heart-wrenchingly beautiful songs this side of Bjork, and don't they just know it. In 2002, Gigwise was lucky enough to hang out with them a bit as they toured America. Yes, this was the summer they stopped being that little band that sometimes supported Embrace, and became the biggest band in the world. 3 years on and not a sausage has changed. There is no band that are currently producing music that has sustained quality for this long. U2 you say? I'm afraid you must have missed the last 10 singles. Bono could well take a leaf out of Chris Martin's books when it comes to fronting the biggest band on earth. For instance, where Bono rips off 'The Sun Always Shines on TV by A-Ha in the chorus of 'Beautiful Day', Chris takes one step up and rips off 'Running Up That Hill' by Kate Bush in new song 'Speed Of Sound'. This is a good thing, as everybody loves a bit of Kate. There is a massive weight on the band's shoulders whether they admit to it or not, as their critics are just waiting for them to slip up so they can justify the "boring" and "bedwetters" tags they so wrongly assign to the lads. From the live versions tonight, they are going to have a hard time trying to find something bad to say. Tonight, Coachella stands united with arms in air, and hearts on sleeves as we are taken on a journey through every relationship we have ever had to an angelic soundtrack. Its a greatest hits/future hits set and is a great warm up for the British festival season. If Coldplay never play another gig after tonight, they can sleep happy that they justified the ticket price alone.
