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For those who slept through all those English lessons at school – the ones taught by a 50-something with a balding head and lots of tweed – here’s a quick vocabulary review. These words are the most commonly referenced when listening to twee Swedish popsters The Concretes’ ‘Hey Trouble’, the soundtrack of those classroom snoozes.
BORING: an adjective that describes that which is caused by or marked by boredom.
That’s it. All you need really. Although, Professor Tweed also taught you it’s too easy to use only one adjective to capture an entire body of work, such as this, the Concretes’ third full-length effort. And he’s right. This album contains a few decidedly not-boring descriptions: instantly catchy in ‘Firewatch’, solidly grooving in ‘Keep Yours’, or sweetly off kilter for ‘Kids’. These are the few exceptions to today’s vocabulary review. ‘Hey Trouble’ splendidly highlights many of the hallmarks of musical boredom, and in that particular fashion only found in close proximity to the Arctic Circle.
The album is their first without vocalist Victoria Bergsman, who left the band last year – presumably only to provide guest vocals on other more interesting (that’s the opposite of boring, class) countrymen’s tunes, like Peter, Bjorn and John’s ‘Young Folks’ from their incredibly better album, ‘Writer’s Block’. Taking her place is the equally boring and distinctively Nordic sighing of Lisa Milberg, who also possesses a voice that recalls Isabella Rossellini, with Downs Syndrome. And despite how exciting such a prospect seems, it’s just dull and tired. By the time the album finishes with ‘Simple Song’, Milberg’s distracted whine runs out of steam half way, leaving the album to close with your standard Phase Out Melody Breakdown Instrumental Tinkering.
‘Hey Trouble’ aspires to some sort of Wall of Sound production quality, although The Concretes’ own Phil Spector got distracted at the desk a bit too often. Half-hearted harmonies sound like comatose Ronettes. Percussion fluctuates from the weak and benign echo chamber drums in ‘A Whales Heart’ to the upfront metronome pulse of ‘Didion’, which barely keeps the band afloat at about 10 BPM. Horns are flimsily atmospheric and sparse, as per Sigur Ros without strong or even passable melody to back up. All of these sounds can be found in the Irresponsible Twee For Beginners textbook, which The Concretes have clearly read and studiously applied in ‘Hey Trouble’. You probably got the book, along with this album, in that class so unbearably boring that you fell asleep until awoken by the energised blare of ‘Writer’s Block’.
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