Photo: Ali Howard
“I can't let you go any further… without a high five!” teases a security guard as Gigwise pulls into the vast fields of Abbots Ripton one last time. It’s the perfect example of the kind-hearted good-spirited people onsite at the final Secret Garden Party. Despite gloomy predictions of rain bringing to mind the nightmarish mud of 2015, even a handful of downpours and constant drizzle can’t dampen the spirit of 30,000 Gardeners.
Instead, braving the rain, it’s clear that festival-goers, many from London, are here for one last hurrah: whatever the weather. This year's VIP theme seems especially fitting; poking fun at the Love Island-obsessed reality TV-gorging world we all seem to be living in. The festival fashion remains just as interesting: glitterboobs seem essential on a sunny Friday afternoon, Love Island t-shirts are very in, and there’s a healthy dose of outrageous fancy dress, too: cue a man with dozens of dildos attached to him drawing a massive crowd to The Dance Off ring.
Head-to-toe nudity, as well, is never far away: Gigwise sees a man around the age of 50 riding his bicycle completely naked to the campsite on Saturday afternoon. And why not? Secret Garden Party doesn’t seek to exist in the real world, after all.
Elsewhere, there’s a VIP portaloo slide, a giant fox mimicking Donald Trump, flags on top of the hill satirising McDonalds as McDiabeties, Facebook as procrastination and Nokia as Nokids want our phones anymore. But it’s the WAG mansion in the middle of the lake that catches Gigwise’s attention – only for it to be blown up, continuing the tradition, on Saturday evening.
That’s without mentioning all the live music and other entertainment on offer across the weekend. As usual, SGP is a world away from reality with so much to discover, so to mark its 13th – and final – year, Gigwise has picked out a dozen highlights from the weekend. Farewell, Secret Garden Party – we miss you already.
WILD BEASTS' THRUSTING ART-ROCK IS CAPTIVATING
“This is the most beautiful festival in the world,” says Head Gardener, introducing Wild Beasts to the stage. Launching into ‘Big Cat’, the four-piece's sexy, thrusting, strobe-heavy art-rock attracts a growing crowd to the Great Stage as the sun sets. Hayden Thorpe’s effortless falsetto echoes up and down the hill, as hundreds watch on, captivated by the neon pink and blue strobe lighting on stage - including children dressed as soldiers in ‘metallic’ armour and their parents sporting sparkly jackets, bowler hats and glitter beards: at times it might not seem like it, but the Secret Garden Party crowd is generally family-friendly.
THE DROP REMAINS A TRIPPY HAVEN FOR HOUSE AND TECHNO
Year on year, The Drop remains a weekend-long haven for house and techno heads. It does what it says on the tin, really: set on a grassy hill that drops down, hundreds cram into the always-packed space to catch the biggest names in dance music like Jackmaster, Skream, Eats Everything and fast-rising producers like Elliot Adamson and Peggy Gou. Each performing beneath a plastic roof with tyres and batteries filled with trippy, trance-inducing strobes above them, the space is built within boiler room-style pipes. There’s also a giant, metallic Transformer robot which shoots out fire from its hand to the left of the stage, to keep everyone's eyes focused. At one point when Gigwise looks around, there’s a cuddly panda lit up with fairy lights that's being lifted overhead: it's the constant oddities that make SGP so special. Waze & Odyssey warm things up on Friday night, quite literally, with an hour set full of bumping, acid-tinged house groovers like Richy Ahmed's DFTD-released ‘The Warning’ as the sky darkens almost instantly, creating a doomy, atmospheric scene.
CRYSTAL FIGHTERS’ EUPHORIC RAVE-POP IS PERFECT FOR FRIDAY NIGHT
Fresh from Benicàssim, Crystal Fighters bring their tribal rave-pop to a packed headline slot. Arriving onstage in colourful Aztec ponchos, they whip the crowd into shape within seconds of opening track ‘Follow’; for those who don’t know the lyrics, they’re drummed into everyone’s heads straight away. Though Sebastian Pringle’s voice is barely audible at times, their hippie-pop still manages to form a peace-loving cult with everyone waving their arms in the air. Before heavier sing-along ‘Love Is All I Got’, he takes on a God-like presence, preaching to the already convinced crowd to awaken their soul. Dressed in a white and patterned tunic and feathered headdress, they lead thousand or so disciples into the night. ‘All Night’, next, lifts everyone off the ground - physically and spiritually.
Working the crowd s vocal chords as the scenic tulips light up and change colour around the grass, it's unsurprising there's at least a dozen people on shoulders by this point. After a hyperactive drumming interlude, allowing the female touring vocalists to go backstage and pick up their flags to wave, they pick up the tempo with their rave-y number ‘I Love London’. Despite the heavens starting to open and people pulling on their jackets, the crowd stays full for their final half hour. “Hold your hands together in protest of all the fucked up shit going on on earth to celebrate freedom,” the bassist instructs, before the crowd joins hands ahead of ‘Good Girls’. Ending with the slower ‘At Home’ and their biggest hit ‘Plage’, Crystal Fighters show off their vocal talents, harmonising with each other effortlessly. Overall, it’s a euphoric, hedonistic and all-embracing performance: the perfect reflection of what Secret Garden Party stands for.
PUMAROSA’S MIDNIGHT SET IS FITTINGLY SPELL-BINDING AND BEWITCHING
Pumarosa’s bewitching set comes at a fitting time: the witching hour aka midnight. Isabel Muñoz-Newsome’s haunting, atmospheric vocals on ‘Cecile’ come with a barrage of guitar riffs and drum beats whilst ethereal green lights flood the stage and two girls start rolling around on the floor. “Thanks everybody for coming down to see us and leaving the rain, leaving the lake. We are Pumarosa” says front-woman Isabel, before transfixing the crowd with a Bjork-like, hypnotic presence, staring over the crowd and into the distance like nobody's watching. Lifting her arms in the air as if igniting a ritual, she headbangs furiously with the rest of the London five-piece during the close of ‘Lion’s Den’.
As a frontwoman, she's endlessly captivating. “Well, it's the end of an era, but the end is always the beginning,” she ponders philosophically mid-set, trapping the audience with her spellbinding presence once again: it's almost as if she's having an exorcism onstage.
REGRESSION SESSIONS THROW SOME RIDICULOUSLY FUN PARTIES
London's newest and fastest-rising party promoters Regression Sessions keep their tent rammed all weekend, with a never ending rotation of tech house chugging from the speakers. WAX’s chunky roller ‘30003B', H.O.S.H’s ‘Karma’ and Patrice Bumel’s atmospheric and euphoric ‘Glutes’ are highlights from around the 2am mark, whilst &Me's darker ‘Avalon’ sees red confetti fall from the sky. Cramming everyone inside under the leaf-covered roof, red strobes shine over the heads of hundreds - including a pony head waved around on a stick - eager to take shelter from the intermittent showers.
The DJ between 1 and 2am (there are no names listed in the programme) provides one of Friday's best sets: pumping, daring and underground - every track forms part of the journey. Whoever it is makes it impossible to leave - despite Eats Everything taking charge of The Drop - as he drops Slam's ‘Clap Your Hands’ one of the RS crew appears behind him dressed as a hot dog, and waving a real hot dog in each hand. Ridiculously silly and brilliant at the same time.
ANTEROS PROVIDE THE PERFECT SATURDAY MORNING WAKE-UP
Having packed out the Koppaberg stage in 2016 and supported Two Door Cinema Club on tour earlier this year, indie-poppers Anteros graduate, bringing their infectious sound to the Great Stage. Glitter-faced vocalist Laura Hayden – sporting a metallic silver jacket and flowing red trousers - plays up for the camera, kneeling to the floor, staring straight into the photographers’ eyes and hugging her bandmates. Despite playing to an undeservingly small crowd at just gone lunchtime, they give it their all; especially during ‘Drunk’ and sing-along banger ‘Breakfast’.
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WATCHING A BRASS BAND IN AN ACTUAL SUNFLOWER FIELD IS AS SURREAL AS IT SOUNDS
After queuing for a queue to get into the sunflower field - it couldn't be anymore British - a girl literally does the worm to gain entry. Why? Because it's a ‘VIP only area’ this year and the suited Simon Cowell-like bouncers want to see everyone’s best talent before letting people in. Once inside, the sea of yellow sunflowers makes for a picturesque selfie-friendly backdrop and, as Gigwise spots a band making their way through the flowers from the other side, it all gets brilliantly surreal. The Brass Funkeys marching band - consisting of a drummer, trombone player, saxophonist and trumpeter - make their way through, performing upbeat, summery numbers as they go. It’s yet another strange, uplifting moment, and a sing-along of ‘Sexual Healing’ is the exact thing that’s needed as the skies darken.
KATE NASH’S DECADE-OLD ‘FOUNDATIONS’ IS STILL A BANGER
Performing to what looks like a sea of umbrellas and ponchos, Kate Nash - sporting a full-length multi-coloured leotard, heart-shaped Minion-like sunglasses and with a mug of tea in one hand - climbs into the crowd and quickly realises "oh yeah it's raining". Drawing from her debut ‘Made of Bricks’ album - which is, unbelievably, 10 years old now - she adds a riot girl, punky, almost Slipknot-like scream to her early hits 'Dickhead' and 'Mouthwash'. Thrashing her guitar and screaming “Theresa May, what you being a dickhead for?” Nash makes her political opinions known. Ending with her break-up radio-hit ‘Foundations’, she has everyone singing it back to her word for word.
CLEAN CUT KID ARE GOING TO BE MASSIVE
“Aright, how’s it going? We're Clean Cut Kid from Liverpool,” says bearded frontman Mike Hall, introducing his indie-pop bandmates before launching into their infectious, hand-clapping, foot-stomper ‘Make Believe’. Performing at the twig-covered Where the Wild Things Are stage - which has a great reputation for breaking through the best new bands each year – the smiling four-piece win over the wig-wearing, patterned-shirt-covered colourful crowd - including a guy on the front row in a unicorn onesie - right away with ‘Leaving You Behind’s contagious riffs and sing-along pop hook. “Is everyone fucked up enough yet, or getting there?” Mike asks at just gone 8pm. “Has anyone got our album? Oh, 12 people,” he jokes, as one devoted fan in a leopard print fur coat and Star Wars flat cap (fashion intentionally makes no sense at SGP) makes his way to the barrier, singing every word back to the band with his arms spread in the air. Clean Cut Kid undoubtedly win over a new legion of fans by the end.
JORJA SMITH’S SOULFUL, SENSUAL R&B IS STUNNING
Fresh from selling out the Electric Brixton, London’s Jorja Smith brings her effortless Drake-certified soul to the Great Stage. Dressed in purple trousers and a long-sleeved velvet top, the 20-year-old lets her faultless vocal do the talking, offering little in the way of mid-song chat. Flawless renditions of ‘Beautiful Little Fools’, ‘Where Did I Go?’ and ‘Teenage Fantasy’ make it plain to see why Jorja Smith is quickly becoming one of this year’s best new vocal talents. Bringing the tempo up a little, her collaboration with Drake and Black Coffee, ‘Get It Together’, is a welcome attempt to part the grey clouds above and get everyone singing and dancing along. Switching away from sensual, soulful R&B, it’s a fine example of her versatility as an artist.
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DEAP VALLY’S GLAM ROCK SHAKES THE GREAT STAGE
Los Angeles’ Deap Vally bring a touch of American glam rock to Huntingdon with their hurtling, early evening set. With her cheeks glittered up and without any shoes or socks on, singer/guitarist Lindsey Troy sports a frilly, sparkling red ensemble while big-haired drummer Julie Edwards ups the ante pounding away in a green plant dress. Quickly filling out the surprisingly thin crowd with the heavy riffs of ‘My Heart Is An Animal’, Lindsey sums the crowd up perfectly: “finally there's people wearing more sequins than me”. It’s a million miles away from Rejjie Snow’s bouncing hip-hop beforehand, but for the 100 or so in the crowd it's an intimate chance to catch the pair's head-banging anthems like snarling, fan-favourite ‘Make My Own Money’ up close, baring in mind they’re used to playing massive festival shows back home in the US. “Wow this is amazing; you guys are so much fun. I wish every festival was like this,” Lindsey gushes, whilst drummer Julie pulls an inflatable parrot out of nowhere and tells the crowd it’s her baby before launching into set highlight ‘Bad For My Body’.
JAGWAR MA PROVIDE THE SOUNDTRACK TO A STUNNING SATURDAY NIGHT FLYOVER
You know a set is going to be pretty epic when the band arrives onstage to the Jurassic Park theme track. Australian psych-rockers Jagwar Ma get the Saturday night party started with the spiralling ‘Every Now & Then’, Jono's gravelly vocal echoing around the site as a flyover takes place overhead with two planes intertwining with one another, creating a heart in the sky. As the rainbow-coloured plane circles the sky above the stage, shooting out fireworks as it goes - an incredible sight to behold – things get rave-y and dancier for the second half of their hour-long set.
