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To date the Three mobile ‘Front Room’ gigs haven’t been anything too special – firstly there was disenchanted middle-class gobby-gobshite pop princess Lily Allen’s secret gig. Then there was the totally non-eventful return of the nineties Spice Girl nemesis All Saints. Both quite mediocre choices in anyone’s book, unless you’re Keith Allen of course (he loves the All Saints). So when the mobile giants announced that rapper/actor/‘abominable ho-man’ Ludacris was lined up for their next gig, the bar was raised somewhat – enough for them to throw ridiculous amounts of cash at the event in fact. Absolutely everything in London’s plush spot Café de Paris is embossed, engraved or embroidered with some kind of Ludacris logo; from cushions, to ice buckets, to shot glasses, to fucking napkins! This is going to be big, and to reflect the immensity of the situation, UK hip hop has to churn out its number one representative, Sway to support he big man himself.
There is no sign of Sway’s hypeman Pyrelli tonight, but the ever-present DJ Turkish backs up Sway’s rhymes perfectly from behind the decks. Sway himself is on top form – he churns out the old familiar tunes such as ‘Little Derek’, ‘Flo Fashion’ and an acapella ‘Download’. However, more excitingly this evening he treats the crowd to several new verses, some from his own songs, some from his many features on other artist’s tracks (his part on Chamillionaire’s ‘Ridin’’ is absolutely ace – “Where there’s a will there’s a way, where there’s a way there’s a Sway, behind the steering wheel trying to get away” Brilliant). Sway introduces another new track, explaining that it is all about how Tim Westwood is the father of his girlfriend’s baby, and drops one of the most hilarious rhymes you’ll ever hear. As Sway wraps up with the thumping, bass driven ‘Up Your Speed’, the crowd seem to be warming up nicely. Sway’s been good, but it’s obviously who the lucky 400 strong crowd are here to see.
Believe it or not, Ludacris hasn’t played a proper UK gig for around 8 years! He was lined up to tour a few years ago, but a spate of shootings meant cancelled gigs and disappointed hip-hop fans. With such anticipation and such a long wait, it would be easy for tonight’s gig to be a huge disappointment, a massive flop. Luckily enough, Ludacris is the kind of guy that let’s down his fans – flying out on stage to his ode to Austin Powers ‘Number One Spot’, the rapper gets the crowd literally bouncing off the walls with his inimitable style of Southern slur.
And the hits just keep on coming! From ‘Ho!’ to the pure filth that is ‘What’s Your Fantasy?’ there is plenty for the hip hop faithful to get their teeth into. Asking where people are from, Luda lists “Have we got North London, South London, East London, West London” – cue various screams of allegiance. “It don’t matter though” concludes the big man “Coz I’ve got ho’s in all those ‘Area Codes’”, and churns out his classic collaboration with Nate Dogg.
To look at Ludacris is as typical a US rapper as you could ever hope for. Massive white t-shirt, baggy jeans, do-rag, massive shades, and plenty of bling encrusted chains. Things get even more stereotypically hip hop as we are told the next song ‘Girls Gone Wild’ will be filmed for Ludacris’ new music video – enter two troops of big-bootied, ass-shaking dancers, and it literally feels like we’ve fallen straight into MTVbase. The track itself is a fast-paced, bubbling cauldron of bass and kick drum that sounds like the kind of thing you’ll be hearing in a skatty strip joint any day soon … so typical Ludacris really. The dancers hang around to for the rest of the set, which sees banging renditions of Usher’s ‘Yeah’, and the storming ‘Stand Up’. Highlight of the evening comes in the form of a volatile, hard-hitting performance of the slightly misogynistic, but totally comedic anthem ‘Move Bitch’ which has fans screaming lyrics back at the stage at the top of their voices. As Luda leaves the stage, the privileged crowd scramble to nick as much Ludacris endorsed merchandise as possible – expect to see it on e-bay any day soon.
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